Eurovision 2016: The Vine’s Definitive Song Ranking Of The Contenders
- Belarus – IVAN, ‘Help You Fly’
This is a Pantene ad with wolves. Apparently, Ivan wants to perform the song live at the contest ‘naked and with (actual) wolves’. Hopefully that can save him from this Nickelback-reject.
- FYR Macedonia – Kaliopi, ‘Dona’
Green screen for beginners. This song and video is a hot mess and I love it.
- Czech Republic – Gabriela Gunčíková, ‘I Stand’
Promising start but fizzles out too soon.
- Malta – Ira Losco, ‘Walk on Water’
“I’m not perfect but I’m A-Okay.” Yeah, you lost me at A-Okay.
- Slovenia – ManuElla, ‘Blue and Red’
Unnerving patriotism and feels like a bit of a Taylor Swift ripoff. However lyrics ‘blue is blue and red is red’ is pure Shakespeare.
- Romania – Ovidiu Anton, ‘Moment Of Silence’
Game of Thrones meets Dungeons and Dragons. It scares me.
- Belgium – Laura Tesoro, ‘What’s The Pressure’
It’s a decent song, but it feels sampled- sounds pretty damn similar to Fleur East’s ‘Sax’. Lacks Eurovision originality.
- United Kingdom – Joe and Jake, ‘You’re Not Alone’
A bit Coldplay-by-numbers. It’s too underdone – sadly, it won’t bode well with Eurovision voters.
- Albania – Eneda Tarifa, ‘Fairytale’
Nice hood but no. Lacking a catchy hook.
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