OH, EVERYBODY’S DYING: Episode 2 Of ‘Riverdale’ Retold Through Its Funniest Tweets

Another week, another opportunity for the Riverdale locals to pine over their stolen youth, and the fact that murder in their town is as mundane as Archie’s personality.

Ep two served up Jughead just being hella intense and manic (surprise!), glaring at anyone that entered his path as he continues his emo phase of adolescence. Betty is also feeling the dark vibes radiating from Jug, as Dark Betty made her long-awaited comeback. She threatened Cheryl to save FP from a lengthy prison term.

Archie tried a drug called ‘jingle jangle’ because he was struggling to stay awake and guard his father from the Angel of Darkness. Just normal high school stuff. In the end, he came to his senses. He got a gun ‘cos that always makes everyone safer.

This show is just nuts, that’s why it’s soo damn addictive. Twitter live-tweeted the entire ep and the tweets are fucking gold.

Episode 2 of S2 Riverdale retold through its funniest tweets:

As Jughead’s dad prepares for the possibility of going to jail for 20+ years, Jughead tries to change his fate and is his typical overdramatic self.

We got a decent look at Reggie 2.0 (who is a grade A hottie) but he hooked Archie up with… drugs. *FAKES SHOCK*

Betty tries to save Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe from closing down.

Veronica is at war with her parents and everyone is lying to each other.

Cheryl and her mum are just being themselves aka total psychopaths. Betty blackmails Cheryl into testifying on FP’s behalf.

The episode ended the same as the first: with more death. This time the Angel of Darkness took two lives. Such fun!


BONUS: The Premiere Of CRAM But Just The Bits Where They Say Cram, Crammed Into A Crammed Video Of Cram

People have mixed feelings on CRAM, the new network Ten show with Peter Hellier. If there was one thing we noticed, it was how many times CRAM crammed the word Cram down our throats - case in point: