A Running Tally Of What’s Not Okay To Do ‘Right In Front Of My Salad’
For the uninitiated, you may have found it rather odd overnight that people all of a sudden started saying “right in front of my salad”.
But wtaf does it even mean? The quote originated from a porno scene showing two guys having sex in a kitchen. At the same time a woman is trying to mind her business and eat a bowl of salad, as she exclaims:
“Are you guys fucking? Are you serious?! Right in front of my salad?”
So in solidarity with salad girl, we felt inspired to make our own list of what is not okay to do in front of our salad.
Here’s some things that are not okay right in front of my salad:
Everyone you know is in a relationship, while you’re still single…
People not liking dogs…
Accidentally writing an entire email with caps on…
Not liking pineapple on pizza…
Group assignments at uni…
Overpowering perfume…
Your crush doesn’t have Facebook, so you can’t stalk them…
Mates that take forever to text back and when they do, it’s simply with ‘K’…
Walking behind slow people that won’t fucking move…
Co-workers talking about work at a work party…
Being sent unsolicited dick pics…
Obnoxious people listening to loud music on public transport…
Your two fave bands are on at the exact same time at Splendour In The Grass…
Wi-Fi drops out and you forgot the password…
Telemarketers call you when you’re in the middle of eating salad…