8 Reasons Vanessa Amorosi Is Australia’s Greatest Pop Star
In amongst all the doom and gloom of this week’s Australian news cycle, there was one glistening nugget of pop culture gold. The story Australia didn’t know it needed. A comeback tale of hope and redemption; the return of Australia’s greatest living vocalist, Vanessa Amorosi, to the mainstream media.
It’s been almost a decade since Amorosi’s last album, Hazardous, cracked the top 10 on Australia’s album charts. Despite producing certified bops ‘This Is Who I Am’ and ‘Mr Mysterious’, the release failed to generate the industry buzz and accolades VanAm deserved. As a result, she relocated to Los Angeles, where she bought a bunch of horses, got some sick back tattoos, took up boxing and enjoyed being a full-time badass.
But now she’s back, announcing her new single ‘Heavy Lies The Head’ (out April 5th!), along with a national tour.
Now, I don’t know how else to say this, Australia — but don’t fuck it up.
To celebrate VanAm’s long-awaited return to the Aussie spotlight, I’ll now make my case as to why she’s our greatest living singer and surest hope for survival.
1. She’s a deadset world class VOCALIST
While performing Heroes Live Forever at the Sydney Olympics Opening Ceremony, she held one note for TWENTY-FOUR FULL SECONDS.
Watch it here – I counted:
2. She’s a record holder
Vanessa Amorosi’s second ever single, ‘Absolutely Everybody’, was not only certified double platinum when it was released in 2000, but it soon became the longest charting Australian single by an Australian female artist EVER. It remained in the ARIA Top 50 Singles Chart for over six months after its release.
3. She was ROBBED at the 2000 ARIA Awards
“0-0-0, hello? I need to report a robbery.”
Despite slaying the Sydney Olympics opening AND closing ceremonies, despite smashing national records with ‘Absolutely Everybody’, despite hitting NUMBER 1 with her debut album The Power when she was only 17 YEARS OLD, and despite being nominated for six awards — Vanessa Amorosi has never won an ARIA Award.
Hang your heads in shame, Australia.
4. She’s been through some stuff
Look, I’m not usually one to gossip, but Vanessa Amorosi was supposed to release her fifth studio album V back in 2011. She even released the album’s first single, titled ‘Gossip’ (notice my sneaky foreshadowing there?).
However, the album never saw the light of day, with Amorosi announcing that she would be parting ways with Universal Music in early 2012. The release of her fifth album seemed to stop-and-start numerous times from there, with various announcements made between 2017 and 2018, before finally being confirmed last week (eeek!).
5. She’s DARK
It’s pretty common knowledge that VanAm’s third-ever single ‘Shine’ was originally supposed to be titled ‘Die’, but was deemed too bleak by Universal Music studio executives. Still, the song manages to deliver a few killer lines to the stir up the ol’ depression on a Friday night alone.
“You’re getting old / And the longer you take / The slower your pain will grow / It will grow, it will grow. You can close your eyes / And hope that when you open them /You’ve got a brand new life.”
Wow, okay VanAm. Why don’t you @ me next time?
Still, I suppose it’s more pop-friendly than the original chorus line: “Everyone you see, everyone you know is gonna die.”
6. She’s no one-hit wonder
Look, most ’90s kids will know and love VanAm for ‘Absolutely Everybody’, but she’s been slaying the charts for years. Her #1 single ‘This Is Who I Am’ sold over 2 million copies around the world in 2009 — a whole 9 YEARS after her first album.
7. Her Insta presence is wholesome AF
Unlike most of you, I’ve been supporting Vanessa from a distance over the past few years as one of her only 6,700 Instagram followers (it was under 2,000 this time last year, would you believe?!).
What can I say — the woman knows how to live.
She records music, rides her horses, knocks back a pint of German lager, downs a choc-chip ice cream like a body positive legend, and even shared her experiences surviving the recent California bush fires.
8. She’s performing at my gay wedding*
(*Unconfirmed).
I’m getting married in February next year and, honestly, I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather sing me down the aisle than my underrated musical queen.
Vanessa — if you’re reading this, my DMs are open!
Hi @VanessaAmorosi will you pls sing me down the aisle to ‘Shine’ at my gay wedding next year? This tweet is step 1) in my petition pic.twitter.com/Y1MqW387Tb
— Samuel Leighton-Dore (@SamLeightonDore) March 3, 2019