A Horny Tribute To Documentary Daddy Louis Theroux

Relationships may come and go but the only constant love of my life has always been Louis Theroux.

From his days of Weird Weekends all the way up to his recent Altered States series, I am a committed Therouxian.

I had my one and only chance to meet Louis when he toured down under in 2016 doing his first live show. The documentarian walked through the audience looking for people who wore glasses like him. I felt the stars had aligned. I too was optically challenged and was sitting in the front row at the time. But suddenly filled with dread, I realised I left my glasses at home. The horror.

Our only chance to fall in love was thwarted and my heart shattered forever.

@louistheroux if I had worn my glasses last night, I surely would have been named your female doppelgänger pic.twitter.com/R45v7huIF6

— Tara Watson (@tara_watson_) September 27, 2016

I can accept it now that we were not meant to be. As Louis continues to release thought-provoking documentaries, I’m here to discuss absolutely none of that.

Instead, I want to talk about why he is soo damn hot. He is my unconventional hunk, my lanky/awkward secret snacc, my documentary daddy.

Here’s what makes Louis Theroux the love of my life:

When he showed his paternal instinct and knew exactly how to react to a newborn bub

He always helps people in need and that’s hot

He’s confident with his looks but not cocky

But he knows when he’s not wanted

He’s a sweet and wholesome boy in the streets

But a freak in the sheets

His curious nature always makes me lol

He likes to take care of himself

When he tried to write hardcore rap, it came out like this and I respect that

But he knows when to stop and ask questions

He respects other people’s aspirations

He knows what’s important in this life

Most importantly, he takes zero shit

What can I say, the man has me under his spell