10 Important Lessons We’ve Learned From ‘Love Island Australia’ So Far
While Love Island has been taking over/destroying our lives (depending on how you want to look at it) there’s no doubt we’ve actually learned a lot from it.
Stick with me here.
I’m not saying we’re better people or indeed more intellectual. I’m just saying that these people have opened our eyes to… a different world of thoughts.
Let’s just get into it. Here’s everything we’ve learned from Love Island Australia, so far:
1. Kangatarians are kind of like pescatarians
How do you know if a #kangatarian is at your dinner party? Oh, don't worry – they'll tell you. #LoveIslandAU pic.twitter.com/KqatedwCVg
— Love Island AU (@LoveIslandAU) May 27, 2018
Sweet, loveable Justin said he used to only eat fish AND kangaroo, because kangaroos aren’t “farmed”… therefore he was a kangatarian. Basically exactly like a pescatarian! Except with red meat still in his diet. Anyway.
2. Women should strive not to be “ham sandwiches”
Ahhh who could forget Josh’s unfortunate habit of comparing women to food – whether it be the analogy that he doesn’t want a boring “ham sandwich” of a girlfriend, or when he saw himself and Tayla as peanut butter and jelly.
At least I now know when it comes to dating I should focus less on being ham, and more on the lettuce, mustard and aioli that compliments my sandwich. (His choice, not mine.)
3. You can have two first names combined in one, but it still won’t make you interesting
John James, pretend as you may that having two names makes you mysterious and sexy, it just doesn’t. Sorry.
4. Sometimes insects are more entertaining than the person that’s trying to hook up with you
Elias is gonna couple up with the spider at this point #LoveIslandAU
— ⭐️ (@LoneIyLisa) June 6, 2018
Before he was kicked off the island, Elias showed some romantic connections with… well not many of the women. But he was super fascinated by the wildlife crawling around the villa.
Likewise, Justin found a deep connection with a butterfly, he became convinced was speaking to him. This island does strange things to people.
5. Personality is kind of “important” but a “spark” is more important
A spark translates to “looks” FYI. And height. So every time someone now says “you’re personality is beautiful” they’re not complimenting you. They’re basically just telling you that you’re too ugly for them.
6. Be tall
girls in the villa: im more into personalities
jaxon – sweet, caring, loving, attentive, honest.
dom – tall
girls: oMg DOM is the ONE !!1!1!1!1 #LoveIslandAU— Mia (@mniranew) June 13, 2018
Short people are not dateable. And if you’re a man and you’re not 6-foot tall, DON’T EVEN BOTHER!
7. Everything is better in slow-mo
Especially the above video.
8. A relationship lifespan should last three days before you can deem it “successful”
Anything between one or two days is not going to work. Once you hit that three-four day sweet spot, you’re basically married. Set for life. Soulmates. Etc.
9. Getting a “TEEEEEEEXT” is the most exciting thing in the world
If you’re not screaming and wetting yourself a little every time you get a TEEEEEEEXT, are you even living?
10. Sophie is obviously being held for ransom on the island, someone rescue her pls
If we once thought making her spend heaps of time with Jarrod and Stu was bad, think again. This lady needs our help! Get her off the island, Osher!