Tonight’s Premiere Of ‘The Bachelor’ Retold Via Its Funniest Tweets
If you’ve been hiding out in Bachy hibernation, today is the day to return as The Bachelor is back where it belongs: on our TVs and all its petty goss making its way onto our timelines.
Tonight’s ep had it all and more. We met some early contenders in Brooke and Shannon, who are already girlfriend material tbh. Meanwhile, Cat and Cass stood out for all the wrong reasons but will surely be entertaining AF as the series tumbles along.
With the return of Bachy comes the hilarious live-tweets, and tonight was no exception.
PS: while you’re at it – click here to get a personal message when Punkee’s Bachy Recap video drops tomorrow morning!
Here’s The Bachelor premiere retold via its funniest tweets:
Introducing: The Badgelor…
What the hell is this? I was promised a damned honey badger #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/gTqpaSdbHD
— Colonel Kickhead (@colonelkickhead) August 15, 2018
Nick is looking for someone
Happy
Likes being outside
Has a lot of love to giveThat’s literally a golden retriever #TheBachelorAU
— Sass Neill (@beyourbird) August 15, 2018
honey badger: *breathes*
osher: #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/opgcGPM00g— Bradley Johnston (@bradjohnston_) August 15, 2018
The series has just started but already everyone loves Brooke.
Brooke is probably, definitely winning. #TheBachelorAU
— Ashley Spencer (@AshleyySpencer) August 15, 2018
Brooke has done an ultimate big dick move and absolutely blanked Nick on who he is and I am LIVING. An Indigenous woman just barring the white man on TV AAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA #TheBachelorAU
— Michael Beveridge (@mickyb273) August 15, 2018
Everyone who got Brooke in their work Bachie sweep #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/LxOOf5BhnL
— Christina Cavaleri (@Christina_Cav) August 15, 2018
We met a girl called Vanessa Sunshine whose name is Vanessa Sunshine and she only answers to Vanessa Sunshine.
Vanessa Sunshine is what happens when we give kids awards for participating #TheBachelorAU
— straightouttafucks (@peteBREAUX_) August 15, 2018
Vanessa Sunshine hahaha who still uses their MSN username anymore #TheBachelorAU
— Nathan 🇦🇺 (@gettzyAU) August 15, 2018
literally anyone else in the mansion: h-
vanessa sunshine: I’M VaNESSA SUnSHINE!!!#TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/0FRHTyjOag— Bradley Johnston (@bradjohnston_) August 15, 2018
“Hi, my name is Vanessa Sunshine” #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/OkteIlw0E1
— Andrew (@worldofarod) August 15, 2018
Could you imagine if Vanessa Sunshine was a vegan who also did Crossfit?
What would she tell you first?#thebachelorau
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) August 15, 2018
We don’t get to meet everyone tho.
Imagine going to all the effort of bringing a drinks trolley off a plane for a big gimmicky entrance then being relegated to the montage #seeya #TheBachelorAU
— Sophie (@Sophiebonbophie) August 15, 2018
Once the cocktail party kicks off, Cat from Bali tries to call out Sophie in front of all the other girls, for errr… dating a dude she also dated once.
Cat is here to kick ass and take names.
Names of girls that are now dating her ex.
Who is apparently not allowed to date anyone once they stop seeing her. #TheBachelorAu
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) August 15, 2018
Bali Cat: I’m not here to make drama
Also Bali Cat:#TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/1BCvcDiXS0— mat whitehead (@matwhi) August 15, 2018
Dated the same person and now dating the same guy at the same time?
Welcome to gay culture, ladies. #TheBachelorAU
— Robbie Milano (@Robbie_Milano) August 15, 2018
Two girls seeing one guy at separate times is an issue. 25 girls seeing one guy at the same time is okay, though #TheBachelorAU
— Stupid Question (@stupid_fn_truth) August 15, 2018
who is this girl she's just spilling the tea with the producers and i am here for it #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/c93a4LtaHR
— 𝐤𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐚 💌 (@michdockery) August 15, 2018
Some random girl jumped in the pool and the Honey Badger wasn’t even watching.
Oh dear.
A cannonball.In the shallow end.
And Nick wasn’t watching.
I just died inside. #TheBachelorAu pic.twitter.com/NlKzfLIvQ9
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) August 15, 2018
Its not a party unless a drunk girl jumps in the pool #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/5L9CbsNAlm
— Allison (@infiniteallien) August 15, 2018
Let she who had not jumped in a pool in a cocktail dress while on a group date to impress a guy who isn't even looking at you cast the first stone #TheBachelorau
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) August 15, 2018
"I regret everything" #thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/FZiOdw85M9
— Jessica Lynch (@jesskalynch) August 15, 2018
Cass told the Badgelor she wrote his name in her dream journal and it was basically the most embarrassing thing that’s ever fitted inside a TV.
Oh god no.. ABORT! ABORT! CASS NOOOOOOO! I wrote you in my dream diary? Guuuuuurl. No. Someone needs to take that yellowglen out of her hand STAT. #TheBachelorAU
— Em Rusciano (@EmRusciano) August 15, 2018
In Cass’s mind they just got married #TheBachelorAu pic.twitter.com/tBeLg6gpjo
— Linda Fothergill (@LindaFothergill) August 15, 2018
Honey Badger’s reaction when Cass told him she wrote his name in her dream diary #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/8nQKNMT0eV
— Tali Aualiitia (@taliaualiitia) August 15, 2018
When Nick first saw Cass he was thinking "i thought she wasn't allowed to be within 500 yards of me" #TheBachelorAU
— truth hurts (Carl) (@Truth_hurts81) August 15, 2018
Our bodies are ready…
We might be split on politcs, but I'm just glad that we, as a nation, can all get behind wanting Cass to not get a rose and have a Ralph Wiggum heartbreak moment on live TV. #TheBachelorAU
— Michael Beveridge (@mickyb273) August 15, 2018