SIZZL’N: Two-On-One Date On Tonight’s ‘The Bachelor’ Brought Pure Fire

Tonight’s ep of The Bachelor ended with an almighty cliffhanger, but that came after a firey two-on-one date which had already sent one bachy-ette packing.

Following from Florence’s cute but chemistry-less date, the gals expected a group date to follow. Standard. But NOPE. The producers Matty instead picked two women to fight tooth and nail for a chance to be in his presence. As Osher announces the news of the triple date, Tara chirps “This is hectic!” It sure is T-GAL.

No one wants to be on this date. Except, Sian who is a person, that exists, on this show (according to her).

Natalie’s summarises the girls reactions pretty accurately.

‘OH MY….’

‘…GAWD’

Cobie’s face told a different story. Another date to compete with, you say?!?

‘Hello darkness, my old friend…’

We soon find out who has been chosen for two-on-one date. SURPRISE? It’s the two women that have been edited to be sworn enemies since the season began. Convenient.

Liz and Jen are chosen to fight it out for Matty. Liz takes the news pretty well.

Who… is… Matty, tho?

Jen takes the news, well, worse. She actually looks like she’s just found out her husband has been conscripted to fight in Vietnam.

‘I’ve never known true pain like disss, until now’

Leah – the girl that was just hugging Jen – immediately says that Jen is a “master manipulator”. Yep, Leah. You are 100 percent the right person to say that.

She goes on:

“She’s going to put forward that best version, that sweet innocent version of Jen. Which is not the Jen we see.”

So which Jen do we see? I actually don’t know who that woman was, that was wearing Jen’s face. But it’s not her. Matty agrees.

‘Whooooo is this woman?’

The date essentially involves going to a shitty old house, sitting in a dark room and drinking some wine together. It’s dull. That’s it.

Then they branched out for some solo Matty action.

Jen attempted to charm the pants off Matty and just as Leah had warned us, attempted to be sweet. Taking that concept literally, she keeps bonging on about being a Caramello Koala.

‘I’m just like Caramello Koala… meaning you know, I’m a human person but filled with caramel, my ears are made of chocolate, you can keep me in your pocket, you stayin’ with me?’

Matty keeps drinking. Good idea.

‘One more down the hatch’

Next up is Liz – who by comparison just seems heaps genuine and nice (albeit unable to crack a smile). Matty starts their date off totally normal: by asking Liz to carry his first child.

Safe to say, she is not feelin’ it.

‘HAVE MY BABY. YES?’

‘No thanks’

‘YOU WILL HAVE MY BABY. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. BACHY BABY WIFE!’

‘Nah, I’m good’

That’s the end of that.

Liz wouldn’t be impregnated with Matty’s baby mid-date, so he got rid of her and kept Jen. Who is potentially pregnant with their first child already. That boy works fast.

Gird your loins for a bachy baby, fam!