A Definitive Ranking Of The Thiccest Superheroes
Ever since they powered into existence more than 80 years ago, some things have remained true for superheroes: they look fly-as-hell in lycra; they don’t get ready, they stay ready when it comes to fighting crime; and — most importantly — they’re thicc as hell.
For real though. Show me a superhero that ain’t thicc? I’m waiting…
But this poses an important question: which superhero is packing the most junk in their trunk? Which superhero got a straight-up wagon? Which superhero is the most THICC AS HELL?
Luckily, we went ahead and did what literally nobody asked for: curated a definitive ranking of the thiccest superheroes in existence. Let’s do it.
#10 The Flash
The Flash’s super power is that he can run really fast, which means he’s quicker to get to crime scenes, I guess?
Famously, the world’s fastest sprinters tend to have great butts. So we’re stoked to see that our boi The Flash is keeping up the tradition and packing some serious junk in his trunk, making him one of the thiccest superheroes.
#9 Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman is really THAT bitch. She’s one of the most iconic heroes of all time, slays baddies on the daily and still maintains that fine AF bod. Honestly, we are not worthy.
All that aside, she is a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man to save the day because guess what? She’s already saved the day, been to the gym, meal-prepped for the week and paid all her bills by the time Superman got out of bed. Slay, my queen.
#8 Wolverine
Everyone knows werewolves only come out during a full moon, and Wolverine’s butt is the only full moon we need in this world. Except of course the actual moon because I mean, I’m not a scientist but I’m pretty sure that without it we would die.
Anyway, he one of the thiccest superheroes.
#7 Spider-Woman
Spider-Woman? More like Spider WHOA, man, that’s one thicc superhero. She takes out a spot in the top 10 for reasons I don’t think I need to explain.
#6 Nightwing
OK, so I had never heard of this Nightwing person before Google searching “big super hero butts” in my open-plan office, but boy, I am not disappointed. He’s a world class detective part-time and a full-time thicc boy.
#5 Captain Underpants
Oh you thought you could predict the rest of the list? Try again. Captain Underpants is the OG thicc hero. Um, hello? The boi is packing some SERIOUS heat in the booty department. And, red is really is colour… living for the cape, gurl.
#4 The Hulk
Is it a thicc ranking without a mention of one of the biggest bois in the superhero universe? Yep, coming in at number 4 is The Hulk, for obvious reasons.
He goes from regular to extra thicc when angry. So thicc, in fact, that he tears straight out of his clothes to reveal his big green bod.
Get it, thicc boi.
#3 Thanos
Yes, Thanos is technically a villain but look, could we really leave the biggest boy to ever live off of the list? Not on my watch. Thanos is huge, which already makes him thicc, but look at that definition in those legs! You know he squats to maintain that thiccness and I am not mad about it.
#2 Spiderman
You know what? Spider-Man probs wouldn’t have even made this list if it wasn’t for Tom Holland. I’m just. Ooft. I’m just going to leave this here…
You’re welcome.
#1 Mrs Incredible (Elastigirl)
Taking out the number one spot is (of course) Mrs Incredible, otherwise known as Elastigirl because let’s be real, she’s thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal.
Mrs Incredible doesn’t possess a wagon, she’s got an entire back yard! And what she has what the others don’t — the ability to stretch her body in whatever way she likes.
Is Mrs Incredible really that thicc? Or is she just constantly stretching her booty and thighs? I’ll let you decide.
There you guys go — the thiccest superheroes in existence. Did we miss any?