7 Reasons Why We Should Be More Grateful For The Musical Masterpiece ‘Fergalicious’

What was life like before Fergie graced us with the musical masterpiece that is ‘Fergalicious’? It was bleak. Gloomy. Dancing had not yet been invented. Car rides were silent. Sex was still undiscovered.

Human civilisation before 2006 was a mere shadow of the glorious age we are living in now. It’s time to express our gratitude for being alive during the AF (After ‘Fergalicious’) era.

Think about it. You could have been born in 1423, or 1915, and lived your entire life without knowing the joy of hearing ‘Fergalicious’ at pre-drinks, when you’re four vodka-Redbulls deep. An empty, meaningless life devoid of passion and love.

But we weren’t.

We are all here, living the good life — and we couldn’t have this good life if it wasn’t for ‘Fergalicious’. So we are going to give our thanks to Fergie, will.i.am, and everyone involved in the production of this masterpiece, by honouring our top seven reasons to be grateful for the existence of ‘Fergalicious’. Hit it.

1. Multiculturalism

First of all, you’ll note that ‘Fergalicious’ kicks off with:

“Four, tres, two, uno”

And repeats this countdown multiple times during the song. This will go down in history as a milestone moment for multicultural progress. The blend of English and Spanish, all mixed together like that is just such a pure celebration of different cultures learning to get along.

Incredible. Revolutionary. Historically significant. Activism.

2. Wow, a new word ~ yay!

Thank goodness we have the word ‘Fergalicious’ in our vocabulary. This is what it means to be truly #blessed.

Fergie follows in the footsteps of another writer (perhaps of considerably less significance and talent but still he’s pretty ok), old mate Shakespeare. Inventing words was his jam. He didn’t invent anything as groundbreaking as ‘Fergalicious’ but I’m sure he tried.

But what does Fergalicious mean? The original Fergalicious definition is simply to “make the boys go loco“. But over ten years later we have wisened up to the heteronormativity of most pop culture and we’re aware that a spectrum of tastes and attractions exists. So ‘Fergalicious’ has come to signify that state of mind where you feel fly as fuckkkkkkk.

Aren’t you glad we have this word!!!

3. Real talk

“Boys just come and go like seasons”

Iconic. Such wisdom. Finally, someone spoke the truth. Fergie is the voice of our generation. Men are generally not worth your time or attention. Boom. I was blind but now I see.

4. How to be extra AF

The video for ‘Fergalicious’ is so extra it’s perfection. Did Fergie invent extra? Perhaps.

She definitely championed the unapologetically extra brand of awesome and she is a role model to us all. She taught us that if you wanna come out of a cake and dance, you can come out of a cake and dance.

Back yourself like Fergie. The key to being Fergalicious is doing whatever the fuck you want and committing to it. Also cute outfits.

5. A lesson in self-love

“And I know I’m coming off just a little bit conceited”

If you’re going to talk extensively about how hot and desirable you are, then honestly that’s fucking great that your self-esteem is in tip-top shape and we are here for that. ‘Fergalicious’ teaches us the valuable lesson, that with that kind of self-appreciation, a certain level of self-awareness is necessary.

Fergie acknowledges that people who aren’t ready for her self-assured positivity might take turning herself into an adjective as “conceited“. Sometimes you’ve just gotta see the h8ers but choose to do you instead.

6. That rap tho

Because what is more satisfying than nailing Fergie’s rap verse? Absolutely nothing. Literally, this is the peak of happiness that you can reach — so make sure this one is in your repertoire.

This is fucking poetry:

“All the time I turn around, brothers gather ’round
Always lookin’ at me up and down, looking at my uhhhhhhh”

Pro tip: recite the ‘Fergalicious’ rap verse to yourself every morning when you wake up to start the day and boost the production of good feelings.

7. Spelling tips & tricks

Spelling is so handy, how good is spelling!!!

Thanks to ‘Fergalicious’, we can all spell ‘F-E-R-G-I-E’ and ‘D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S’.

‘T-A-S-T-E-Y’ is, of course, spelt incorrectly but for the most part, we learned a lot from this song.

Case closed.

Thank you ‘Fergalicious’. You’ve made our lives more educational, inspirational, inclusive, positive and t-t-t-t-t-tastey, tastey. So delicious.