Alec And Hilaria Baldwin Are Getting Their Own Reality TV Show… I Have Thoughts
What do you get when you document an old man facing criminal charges and his younger, beautiful, heavily-accented wife?
If you answered “The 2024 Republican Presidential Campaign,” you’re technically not wrong… but I am of course referring to The Baldwins, TLC’s newest reality show starring Alec Baldwin, his wife Hilaria and their (checks notes) seven children.
“We’ve got an exciting announcement to share! Coming in 2025…” Alec Baldwin posted on his Instagram, sharing the post-credits with the TLC Network.
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The teaser for the show opens with Alec and Hilaria sitting on a couch being a relatable couple. Hilaria tells Alec to sit up straight and we see a supercut of a few attempts at getting the announcement right. Finally, Hilaria tells us, “We have an announcement to make,” with Alec cutting in, “Good God, no!” looking at his wife in a panic.
“No definitely not, we’re done having kids!” she tells him. Get it? We’re joking about how many children this couple insists on having. “This is about our show!” Hilaria clarifies.
“We’re inviting you into our home to experience the ups and downs, the good, the bad, the wild and the crazy. Home is the place we love to be most,” Alec explains. This audio plays over a montage of their hoard of children running around the house screaming, and honestly, this is birth control.
The clip finishes with all nine Baldwins sitting on a couch trying to say “We are the Baldwins” in unison, with the older kids shouting it and the younger kids having no fucking idea what’s going on (same).
A COUPLE OF THINGS.
Firstly, why so many kids? What’s that about? Not to age shame but Alec you’re literally 66? ! While Alec shares his eldest daughter Ireland with ex-wife Kim Bassinger, he and his new wife Hilaria have spawned the following offspring:
Ilaria Catalina Irena (19 months), María Lucía Victoria (3), Eduardo “Edu” Pao Lucas (3), Romeo Alejandro David (5), Leonardo Ángel Charles (7), Rafael Thomas, (8), and Carmen Gabriela (10).
Image Credit: @hilariabaldwin Instagram
Maths isn’t my strong point but that’s too many kids maybe? Thoughts and prayers to Hilaria’s birth canal, honestly.
Secondly, the world thinks you guys are insane.
While it appears the couple are trying to lean into the “we’re so chaotic!!” angle, I’m unsure if the show is going to be as endearing as they’re hoping it will be. Or, endearing enough to forget about their very public controversies.
Let us not blank on how in 2020, we collectively discovered Hilary from Boston’s origins and were stunned to learn she is very much not at ALL Spanish.
As explored in her NY Times interview, Hilaria’s world started to spiral when (then) Twitter user @Lenibriscoe wrote in December, “You have to admire Hilaria Baldwin’s commitment to her decade-long grift where she impersonates a Spanish person.”
”HOW DO YOU SAY CUCUMBER?”, INDEED.
“I was born in Boston. I spent time in Boston and in Spain. My family now lives in Spain. I moved to New York when I was 19 years old and I have lived here ever since. For me, I feel like I have spent 10 years sharing that story over and over again. And now it seems like it’s not enough,” Hilaria defensively explained in the interview.
While it was a much-needed laugh during the Pandemic, we all agreed that this woman’s cultural appropriation was pretty fucked up, and she never really shook it off.
On a more serious note, there’s the very real court case that Alec is currently involved in.
As reported by Variety, “Alec Baldwin awaits a July trial for his manslaughter indictment in relation to the death of Rust cinematographer Halyna Hutchins. Baldwin faces up to 18 months in prison if convicted of involuntary manslaughter. He is accused of negligently pointing his gun at Hutchins and pulling the trigger while preparing to film a scene, and as a producer of the film has also been faulted for contributing to lax safety standards on set.”
With The Baldwins due to air in 2025, could some of the aforementioned “ups and downs” include the family’s patriarch preparing for prison time?
All I know is that this is a terrible, terrible idea and I’m already counting down the days until I can stream this show and watch on in horror.
Written by Lil Friedmann, a staunch defender of reality television and investigator of celebrity fallouts. You can follow her at @lilfriedmann on socials.
Image credit: TLC + Punkee