Just Hear Me Out: Stop Hating On Kingstons, They’re The Best In The Arnott’s Assorted Packet

If you grew up in Australia, there’s nothing more nostalgic than a packet of Arnott’s Assorted biscuits.

It immediately brings memories of visiting your grandparents, whether they had them laid out on a plate for afternoon tea or hidden in a tin somewhere. And while as a kid you might’ve been eagerly reaching for that dry old choc chip bikkie, as we grew older it became clear there’s one biscuit that doesn’t get the true love and attention it deserves.

I am, of course, talking about the Kingston.

Ranking the Arnott‘s Assorted isn’t a new thing. BuzzFeed‘s done it (in fact they’ve ranked pretty much ALL the Aussie biscuits). Reddit’s done it. Good Food recently published this ranking which saw the Butternut Snap come in at first place. Yes, you read that right.

This caused some outcry on Twitter for the highly underrated Kingston biscuit.

I can not believe I have to go through this again. But orange slice is the worst of all the Arnott's favourites and infects every single other biscuit. Shortbread cream is also trash. The Kingston reigns supreme. It is in the name.

— Amy Remeikis (@AmyRemeikis) July 22, 2019

I got ridiculed at BuzZFeed for my love of the Kingston. It is far superior to the trash that is Monte Carlo

— Dean Nye (@Dean_Nye) July 23, 2019

Now, my fond childhood memory of visiting my grandparents is enjoying Kingstons with them —  sometimes we just gave up the whole Assorted nonsense and bought the whole goddamn pack of Kingston Creams.

A stray thought did enter my mind: had I been wrong this whole time? Were Kingston biscuits really that dud?

I asked my coworkers to find out their opinion on Kingstons and the answered varied:

“They are excellent.” – Mitch
“They’re the best.” – Alana
“They are OK.” – Amanda
“They’re good, not great.” – Rob
“They’re the third-best in the Assorted pack.” – Luke
“Kingston’s are a fine biscuit, not the best, but also not the worst.” – Krissi

But the research needed to go deeper. I needed to find out again for myself, so I bought a packet of Arnott’s Assorted to see if Kingstons really were that bitch.

Which has led me here: Kingstons are, indeed, the best biscuit in the Arnott’s assorted pack.

1. They are basically like an Anzac biscuit.

2. The filling is CHOCOLATE, not some weirdly coloured cream thing.

3. Chocolate and Anzac biscuit mashup? Pure genius, honestly!

4. They are the perfect treat size.

5. Who tf wants to eat something with an orange-coloured filling anyway?

OK so sure, they’re not the most superior of ALL Arnott’s biscuits, that’s a fact. (Double coat Tim Tams exist for a reason after all.) But we can absolutely appreciate they are the best ones in the Arnott’s assorted pack.

Disclaimer: Choc chip fans, don’t @ me because, while in general, they are a superior biscuit, don’t even talk to me until we’re eating the Premier ones xoxo.

The proof was in the empty packet that greeted me from the afternoon snack table. Not a Kingston to be seen.

Not sure which psychopaths smashed the Monte Carlos but that’s a discussion for another day.