6 Extremely Aussie Christmas Traditions That Baffle The Rest Of The World
Captain Morgan is Junkee's new Captain of Culture and he's about to make some captain's calls about everything you love.
There’s nothing like an Aussie Christmas. And I mean that quite literally: other than New Zealand, there seems to be no other Christmas-celebrating country that gets to enjoy unwrapping their treasure in 35-degree heat.
And with that heat comes, can I say, some of heady confusion? That, or Australians truly enjoy doing everything upside down.
I haven’t had many modern Christmases (hardly any Aussie ones, for that matter), so forgive my naivety but, December 25 Down Under is truly bonkers in the best way, no? Here’s a wrap up of all the things that delightfully bamboozle me about an Aussie Christmas.
#1 Going To The Beach On Boxing Day
Or having a barbecue by the pool! Blimey! I couldn’t even imagine passing on this information to seafarers in the Northern Hemisphere, I think they’d pass out.
This one is – how you say? – a ripper. The more time spent by the ocean, the better, and the sunshine and salt water is hands down the best way to keep that festive spirit alive or bring in the New Year. I gotta hand it to you, you Aussies have got it good in that department.
Image: Matt Hardy / Unsplash
#2 Playing Cricket On The Road
This is an extreme sport! Hitting a ball so hard with a bat so it can skid cross the other side of the road for four runs – even though nobody’s running? And you’re barefoot (which possibly explains the lack of running)!
I truly admire this kind of plucky inventiveness. This year, you can find me bootless and playing ball, like a true larrikin.
#3 The Whole Saga That Is Prawns
This is a truly unique – and baffling – custom. About 30 per cent of the country gets up at the crack of dawn to flock to a fish market the day before Christmas to secure a truckload of prawns, and then spend the next day telling stories about how much of a hassle it was to friends and family.
They couldn’t be more proud of their crustacean loot than if they had caught it themselves.
Image: Sri Lanka / Unsplash
#4 Favourites > Gingerbread Houses
One thing I see more frequently than any other Australian Christmas tradition is how much you Scallywags like those tiny chocolate bars in a funny-shaped box. No matter how many you’ve eaten over the holiday period, it appears no one knows how to say no to a miniature Moro. Even when you’ve got a pavlova or pudding ready for the eating; even if you’re so full you wish your pants had a second button to undo, Aussies will be reaching for those choccies.
It’s gotten to the point that it seems to be an actual faux pas to turn up to a Christmas BBQ without a a few cold beverages in one hand and a box of Favourites in the other. (Caramello Koalas forever.)
#5 Going Out On Christmas Eve
This might not be a strictly Aussie thing, but it does seem you guys do it more than most. The night before the biggest family social day of the year and most of you launch into it while Santa’s still packing up his sleigh. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find the commitment very impressive.
Image: cottonbro / Pexels
#6 ‘Australian’ Versions Of Well-Known Christmas Songs
From ‘The 12 Days Of Aussie Christmas’ to ‘Rusty Holden Ute’, Aussies seem to have taken it upon themselves to re-appropriate Christmas carols about snow just so they can feel included. What a hilariously confusing thing to behold.
As Ben Pobjie wrote about his fellow Aussies for the ABC, “Perhaps some day, our musical community will accept the fact we’re intelligent enough to understand a song about snow even when we’re not looking directly at a blizzard: we can only dream.”
I personally think you should all embrace the best homegrown Christmas song of all time: ‘How To Make Gravy’ by Paul Kelly. A beaut of a tune, as far as I’m concerned.
This article originally appeared on Junkee.
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