SURVIVOR RECAP: Benji Sends His Besties Home While I Plot My Sweet Revenge
It’s getting to the pointy end of Survivor and the series is now super tense and strategic with evictees now forming the jury. Meanwhile, here I am sitting on my couch trying to outwit, outplay and outlast another glass of wine.
We rejoin our island crew for another week and it’s soo cute that Mat and Commando still think they run this show, when we all know it’s Shonee and Fenella.
I stan those girls so hard.
They don’t win challenges. They don’t find or catch food. They don’t do much of anything. But what they do is provide sassy commentary and throw low-key shade at everyone around them. I’m here for it.
It’s the Shonee & Fenella Show, and on tonight’s instalment the girls pretend to make fire while actually planning to overthrow the patriarchy and steal all of Jonathan LaPaglia’s cargo shorts.
Just some classic banter.
‘Should we make the men of the island our slaves?’
‘Yeah. Let’s enslave every man except Jonathan. I think we got mad sexual chemistry.’
‘I’ve noticed you flirting with him, you saucy minx!’
‘Srsly, is he single?’
Inspired by Shonee and Fenella’s friendship goals, the island has now tumbled into groups of two. However, Benji is plotting to betray his longtime boyfriend Robbie.
He has his mind set on another duo, as he and Mat make shifty eye movements at each other as a symbol of their newfound secret alliance.
I just know he’s going to stab my sweet boi Robbie in the back.
OPEN YA DAMN EYES ROBBIE! Like literally, what are you doing?!
Next up the group gathers together as Robbie reads from something that looks like a dirty old treasure map.
He says some words but I can’t stop looking at this beautiful boy.
He was sculpted by Zeus himself.
How is he even real? Is he actually a Greek God and we are only borrowing him until he returns to Mount Olympus?
JUST LOOK AT THIS PERFECT HAIR.
HOW?!?!
Okay ngl, I got stuck in some kind of hair trance and have no idea what happened next.
But now this woman has a bag potatoes.
While everyone is distracted staring at the bag of potatoes, shifty boi Benji is totally getting ready to knife Robbie.
He teams up with Mat to take down our sweet angel.
Mat is dressed like a serial killer with a penchant for hook hands.
The deal is done and Benji is now 100% dead to me.
The island didn’t deserve such a sweet muscular boi. R.I.P.
(I think deep down he knew Benji would break his heart.)
* Robbie hums ‘Believe’ by Cher *
The challenges this week were just as fun as ever. The theme was psychological trauma.
This is fine.
You know, just regular silly games, puzzles and oversized beach balls.
This definitely won’t end in a lifetime of nightmares and longterm PTSD.
This show is so much fun!!!
Reflecting on his near-death experience, Mat decides to reach out to his fam back home through the medium of sand.
He finger paints a bunch of scribbles and I can’t make much sense of it.
Zoomed out it tells a much different story
Mat seemed pretty moved by it. Each to their own, I suppose.
Back at ANOTHER challenge, this time I assume it’s some kind of staring competition with a random sand beetle.
It’s good to see Astrophysicist Bae and Benji aren’t even hiding their romance anymore.
Benji makes more broken promises, telling the astrophysicist that they will take down Mat for good.
The astrophysist pledges his allegiance to Benji, as they start to plan their life together.
The wedding is booked for January and they plan to honeymoon in Tahiti.
But at tribal council Benji does a total 360 on his life partner. He turns the entire tribe against him.
‘Wait! What! Don’t send me home! Save me Benji, my heart is yours!’
‘I’ve never met this person before,’ replies Benji, as cold as ice.
‘I thought we were going to explore the solar system together.’
With Benji leaving him heartbroken, poor sweet Sam is sent to a better place. Like for real he’ll be sharing bunk beds with Robbie at jury villa.
We can only hope that the scorned exes will plot their sweet revenge.
Fun trick – when you take your bins out this week, look inside and you will see trash that looks like this:
