23 Things You Missed On Episode 3 Of ‘Bachelor In Paradise’

Bula binches!

We’re back to go through episode three of Bachelor In Paradise and looking back it seemed like not much happened but also everything happened?

From a walkout (not even me this time!), to a breakup, to a couple of new familiar faces popping up in para-para-paradise, we were once again not short of any drama. And if things got too heavy, well, we always have Littney to bring things back to a different, weirder level.

Here are the 23 most important parts of Episode 3 of Bachelor In Paradise.

1. Brittney still hasn’t fully realised Cat did a dramatic AF walkout because she’s too stoked over getting a rose.

And poor Richie still hasn’t blinked since he saw his ex enter.

2. Cat ended up being very upset because she thought she’d formed some genuine connections so she can’t understand “what is wrong with her.”

It was actually a bit sad to watch a very confident, strong woman succumb to the pressures of having to make a guy like her. Honestly, run Cat! Run far away!

3. Osher came back to say Cat has bailed back to Bali. So Bill gave his rose to Rachael, which unfortunately meant GOODBYE QUEEN VANESSA.

Her time was once again, far too short-lived, but because she’s Vanessa-fucken-Sunshine she gave zero shits about the fact she was sent packing because she knows she’s far too superior for the men on this island.

4. Paddy and Alisha started arguing because Alisha got the shits at Nathan for picking Brittney over Cat.

Uh-oh, trouble in paradise ALREADY?! Who would’ve seen this one coming?

5. Meanwhile, it’s Brittney’s world and we’re just living in it.

Can’t believe she’s just made up a new Tinder bio for me.

6. James and Alex continued to develop their ~apparent~ bond with some flirtatious splashing.

He didn’t use his second snorkel on her just yet (and no that’s not a euphemism!) but he did take her out on a paddleboard to talk about their connection. Which apparently exists.

IDK either, you guys.

7. But then Bill & Alex and Brooke & Nathan were whisked off for a double date.

With Brooke and Bill being singled out as the most ‘popular’ people on the island that the other contestants said they wanted to meet before the show started, they both got to choose who to take with them — but they didn’t have free reign. They had to choose from the people who said they were interested in meeting them.

Bill picked Alex Nation and Brooke chose Nathan.

8. Rachael was not impressed that her new husband Bill has disappeared without her!

Now that she’s done with Richie (again) Bill should’ve known that Rachael is HER Bachelor now.

9. Once again, it’s Brittney’s world and we’re just living in it.

Queen of fitness getting her 16km in! Yaaass bitch, make a fitness app.

Except I really want to be living in Alex’s world tbh and I want to just be squished to death under his bicep.

In a world of Paddys, look for an Alex.

10. Paddy and Alisha broke up for good.

Ugh, so sad! The Rose and Jack of our time.

11. The double date involved an activity where they had to launch each other into the water because… romance?

A different type of bonking if I ever did see it.

Alex got quite winded after Bill launched her into the air, but he brought in his Bronze medallion training and rescued her. Meanwhile Brooke managed to turn her launch through the air into some graceful dive, because of course she did, that girl can do no wrong.

12. Davey Lloyd came back for his second shot… of love, or tequila, who knows. 

“He’s a PARTY BOY,” Rachael yelled, which I think is her description for anyone under the age of 30.

13. Nathan and Brooke went on a picnic and talked about their ~apparent~ connection.

OK, so I’m not going to name and shame my coworkers but two of them have a filthy crush on Nathan and I was bagging them out, but he does seem kind of sweet?

In a “Davey Lloyd’s little brother” kind of way?

14. The girls talked about their first impressions of Davey and Brittney drops this line: “I’m probably taller than him but that doesn’t matter because you’re the same height lying down.”

I don’t know what we did to deserve Littney this season, but I’m so thankful.

Alisha decided she had an eye on Davey. “After bloody Paddy, I’d hook up with that tree,” she said… like about a literal tree, she wasn’t calling Davey a tree. I think.

15. Aaaaand we also got another new intruder! Enter Jules!

He’s sans mo, but he is still full of all sorts of expressions.

16. Bill and Alex formed an actual seemingly real connection on their solo date.

See, you can tell I kinda, sorta believe in their chemistry because I didn’t say “apparent.”

In the Stage-5 Clinger world, Rachael told us when Bill gets back from his date that she just wants to run and jump on him because she misses him… but also doesn’t want to seem desperate or crazy.

But, alas, upon their return to the group Alex and Bill snuck away for a cheeky pash.

17. Connor whisked Shannon off to discover if her feelings are there for him or not.

Zzzzzzz.

18. Bill told Rachael that he and Alex didn’t kiss.

Interesting because it makes you think… what else did Bill lie about? Dating Dog Park Amy perhaps?

19. Alex and his abs made Brooke a hot chocolate and he asked where her feelings are at. BRB, going to go photoshop my face over Brooke’s.

Brooke was pretty open with him about the fact she’s in a weird place because she’s formed a connection with him, Nathan and other Alex.

American Alex, if you’re reading this I’m free for a hot chocolate at any given hour of the day. You just say the word.

Paddy then decided after Brooke’s hectic day of dates, it was the perfect time to corner her in the rain and tell her he ALSO had a thing for her. Here’s an actual transcript of their conversation:

Brooke: “I want to go get changed, I’m freezing in the rain.”
Paddy: “Yeah, but how do you feel?”

20. We get a slow-mo of Alex working out, thank YOU Sandra Sully.

Can we just have a full hour of this next Tuesday night?

21. Alisha and Davey went on a date and a local artist painted them, because we always need some sort of artwork on this show to meme.

Please note the above is not a meme, it’s the actual artwork.

But here’s what my artwork would look like if they’d given me a shot.

22. Alisha ended the date with Davey by saying she thinks their connection is platonic… and he asked her what platonic means.

23. And we end on Paddy trying to talk to Brooke again, getting shut down, and not understanding why.

Even when Brooke said, “I haven’t given you any signals, I’ve literally tried to avoid you,” Paddy still didn’t comprehend the rejection.

I need a stiff drink.