I Tried To Score A Tinder Date Using Only Quotes From The ‘Bee Movie’
A few weeks ago, my legendary, iconic, often replicated but never duplicated Editor, Tahlia accepted the challenge to try and chat to dudes on Tinder by using nothing but Carrie Bradshaw quotes from the much-loved TV series Sex And The City. It was… a time.
Tahls, I see you. I see you and I raise you a whole lot of dumb.
I’ve taken this challenge to extraordinarily stupid heights, by attempting to score a Tinder date using solely Bee Movie quotes as pick-up lines and holy shit, it got weird y’all.
The rules had been set, and are pretty straight-forward:
- Swipe right on everyone
- Open with/reply to someone only using quotes from — you guessed it — Bee Movie. Even if it had nothing to do with what they were saying and oh boy, it mostly did.
Now anyone who knows me would be well aware that I am pretty unlucky in love, and my dating life is an absolute garbage-fire, so I’m going to level with you guys. I am able and very willing to give this a red hot crack and find The One.
Will quoting this piece-of-shit film turn things around for me? Will I finally find my soulmate? Will it restore my faith in love and dating? Shut up, stay tuned and let’s find out.
Let’s do the thing:
1. The one who caught on
Guys, I’m not exactly off to a flying start. Too many people have seen this movie and honestly I am not OK with it. But, with that little boost to my ego, I continue on my quest to find a date.
My mumma didn’t raise no quitter! She raised a totally put-together and not at all emotionally damaged human who is, at this moment, chatting to strangers on the internet and quoting a movie about bees for money.
2. The one who also caught on, but is also into bees (?)
Whatever floats your boat. You do you, boo. This one swiftly unmatched me after revealing their true feelings for bees, but not before I could capture the RECEIPTS!
I know who you are.
3. “Oh ok”
YOU GUYS. This one holds a special place in my heart. They were really sweet, and we ended up having a really genuine convo after this moment. Perhaps love isn’t dead after all?
Nah, it is.
4. It’s cool, I won’t tell your mum
Sweet Jesus, you just can’t make this shit up. Only on Tinder would you meet a flat-earther worried about his mum finding out his secret, who will then send you a GIF of a lawnmower launching into space.
I truly love the internet.
5. SUCCESS
I did it. I set a goal and I did it. Look at me now, my Year 12 legal studies teacher who said I would amount to nothing! Look at me now, ya lil bitch.
The date is in two days. Should I speak in just Bee Movie quotes? Buzz the entire time? Skip ordering a beer and ask for a pint of their finest honey?
Whether I will actually go, or cancel last minute with some BS plans and save myself an anxiety attack is TBC. Stay tuned.
My Takeaway
Firstly, I mean, there really aren’t too many Bee Movie quotes that can be appropriated into a smooth pickup line now, are there? And unfortunately, jazz just isn’t a genre popular with people in their early 20s.
Secondly, too many people have seen this objectively horrible film to be able to identify a super obscure quote. I’m sorry, but just love yourself a little more. Put down your Blu-ray copy and pick up literally anything else.
Finally, I very well could have met and ruined my chances with a potential soulmate because this is the career path I’ve chosen. And I just have to live with that.
No regretz.
I’d like to take this time to formally nominate fellow Punkee alumni and sweet angel girl, Tara to partake the Tinder challenge. I’m waiting, binch.