I Lived *In* Bridgerton For 3 Days, And Being A Dignified Lady Is Exhausting
In the past, I have gobbled up every episode of Bridgerton at such speed that I have given myself Brindigestion. The second I saw the first trailer for the show I knew it was going to get me good. And that’s because it involves four crucial ingredients: Based on a book, an insanely charismatic cast, the most incredible costumes and set design, and, most importantly, sex.
That last one is a topic often ignored, exaggerated in a weird direction or traumatically portrayed on screen – but Bridgerton, oh Bridgerton, they know good sex. And if any TV show dares to do that, it’ll have a fan in me for life.
Which is why I nearly fainted when I received an invite to the ton…
You see, Netflix was thick in its promotional period for the third season of the show, and to celebrate they threw the biggest PR stunt I’ve ever seen: they took over an entire town.
Yep, for one whole week, Bowral – a cutesy country town in the Southern Highlands – was Bridgerton-ified. Every shop, restaurant and cafe on the high street was in on the mayhem — they covered their stores with fresh flowers, served gallons of tea, and dressed up for the occasion. And Bowral’s formidable country club, the Milton Estate, was the crown jewel of this event, hosting a Bridgerton garden party and a red carpet soiree, which featured an exclusive screening of the first episode.
And I got to go.
I will say there is one small downside of being invited to go to Bridgerton, and that is deciding what the hell to pack. A small mental spiral paired with a gigantic suitcase saw me packing everything that could be considered ton-worthy, in the hope that I wouldn’t stand out like a 21st-century idiot.
Arriving at Milton Estate was daunting, to say the least. It’s, by far, the most regal place I’ve ever stayed in. And as I came a little late, I rolled into the hotel with my track pants on and bumped into the entirety of the ballgown-wearing Heartbreak High cast. A career low for me, as I had interviewed them three days before looking very different…
But onwards I must prosper! Here’s what my suite at the estate looked like:
@stowstowstow HOW IS THIS REAL LIFE?! #bridgerton #netflix #bridgertonnetflix ♬ Walking Around – Instrumental Version – Eldar Kedem
I spent the majority of the evening squealing and FaceTiming my mum because neither of us could believe this was going to be my life for the next four days and we both had a giggle about how ridiculously special my silly little job is.
In my bed chamber (prepare yourself, many Bridgerton phrases will be woven into this yap) laid an itinerary of the next day and the list screamed, “We’ll make a marriage mart diamond of you”. Watercolour painting, perfume oil-making, and a turn about the gardens were listed alongside refreshments that mainly involved delicate pastries.
It sounded incredible, but also like a test??
You see, I don’t think anyone has ever described me as delicate, elegant, classy or… ladylike. Fuck.
But I was determined to at least cosplay as a dignified lady, so I slept with my hair in a coat hanger to make it old-school curly for the next morning. The second the sun was up, I dressed myself (unfortunately they didn’t provide a lady-in-waiting) in my most ironed clothes.
The turn around the garden was first on the list for me, and a goodie to get me climatised to my fancy surroundings. I nodded at the trees and stepped lightly on the grass. I think I may have nailed this class.
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Next was perfume oil-making. I’ve never made perfume or oil so I was a little confused about how we could do it on a garden table and not at a factory, but alas, we must make haste. I plonked down at the table surrounded by vials, beakers, and bottles of scents and was told to get sniffing to decide which smell suited me most. If I was doing this as Katie and not Lady Katie then I probably would have opted for the more masculine-skewing scents like tobacco, sandalwood and musk but I was trying to be elegant and pretty so ended up with a sickly sweet flavour stuffed with vanilla, pistachio, and caramel. Now writing these ingredients down, I’ve realised I was actually turning myself not into a lady, but a pastry.
@stowstowstow Will the ton take me now? #bridgerton #netflix #bridgertonnetflix ♬ Material Girl (Orchestral Version) [From “Bridgerton Season 2”] – Otto Parkor 5.0
Our final society-approved activity was painting – again in the garden because that’s where all classy activities happen in the ton. This one I was particularly excited about because I love me a little watercolouring sesh — but I get awfully competitive. I sat next to an influencer with over 30 million followers, so I didn’t want to completely destroy him with my brush, but I gave it a red hot go.
We painted gumnuts on canvas and despite never seeing a gumnut before in my life, I reckon I did alright! But, more importantly, I smashed the TikToker whose gumnut looked like a bruised peach. *Insert evil laugh here*
Next on the agenda was less ladying and more- ournalisming, as I had the pleasure of interviewing Bridgerton leads Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton! This was honestly a career highlight, and you can catch me yapping to them both right here:
@itspunkee the way she knew IMMEDIATELY what to say 🫶 #bridgerton #bridgertonnetflix #penelopefeatherington #nicolacoughlan #netflix ♬ original sound – Punkee
The evening consisted of a jaunt around an antiques market with champagne in hand before a tasty society dinner in town where I was able to converse with the other debutants and try and suss out who the diamond of the season would be from our group. (It’s probably the TikToker with 30 million followers, but let’s pretend I stood a chance for one second, please.)
The dinner was delicious and rich and had so much gravy that I now understand why so many people back in the day got gout. Such a chic disease from overindulging in society snacks.
The following morning called for the event of the season – the Bridgerton garden party. This was where the wider ton could get involved with the celebrations at Milton Estate, so there were going to be heaps of people and lots of activities. Luckily, a hair and makeup team were assembled to make sure we didn’t look like debutant flops. I selected a Daphne Bridgerton half-up, half-down hairdo along with delicate blush makeup with ‘English Rose’ pinky tones.
The hair was knock-it-out-of-the-park gorgeous, and now I will be doing a version of this for my own wedding for sure. But the makeup, well it was quite… colourful.
The panic selfie post-makeover, plus the cutiepie hair. Image credit: Supplied.
To avoid a society scandal of looking too painted in the face, I scrubbed off the gold and bronze and revealed my pale self underneath – surely a better living example that I’m a lady who sits indoors and stitches for fun. And I headed to the garden!
This party was truly magical. There were lemonade stands, scones everywhere, a giant hot air balloon, portrait painters, palm readers, picnic quarters, and a literal horse and carriage. It was society sensory overload.
The hardest decision I made that day: Do I travel by carriage or balloon? Image credit: Supplied.
Of course, I had to have my palm read so I could suss out my future – will I be marrying a Viscount or inherit a large fortune from an unknown great aunt? I simply needed to know.
The palm reader told me that I’d already been on a journey in my life (to Bridgerton in Bowral, I assumed) and that I had a strong love line (score), but then she told me that I would be blessed with two children. When I responded with, “Are they labradors?” I was laughed at. Apparently, it’s human kids or bust in the ton.
“But are they… actual dogs??” Image credit: Supplied.
To shake off the stress of my upcoming pregnancies, I distracted myself as all good ladies do with a round of croquet. Fun fact: I actually learnt how to play croquet at school (it’s a long story) and so I absolutely dominated the game. Scores for days.
I then retired to a quiet corner of the garden to enjoy a picnic with the only friend I had standing after my destruction on the croquet field. We nibbled on tiny crustless sandwiches and sipped lemonade and I found myself truly forgetting that the next morning I would be returning to reality, where I had a job and responsibilities like cooking dinner and doing laundry. How utterly repulsive.
Image credit: Supplied + Punkee