We Ranked The Stars Of ‘Byron Baes’ From Bad Vibes To Straight-Up Bae
If you haven’t watched Netflix docusoap Byron Baes by now, it’s time to reassess your life choices.
The addictive-albeit-ridiculous series follows Gold Coast singer Sarah as she tries to fit in with a friendship clique living it up in Byron Bay. As she attempts to integrate into a new friendship circle, she has to navigate dating, expanding her career, and trying to get along with the women in the group who were far from welcoming.
The eight-episode season introduced a whole bunch of kooky, divisive, and complicated characters, so what better way to make sense of the series than to rank them all according to the general vibes they project.
We Ranked The Stars Of ‘Byron Baes’ From Bad Vibes To Straight-Up Bae:
11. Saskia
This might be surprising, but if you watched closely, Saskia is actually the shadiest queen who ever lived.
Firstly, Saskia and Frimmy are such a smug couple. I know absolutely nothing about Saskia’s partner Frimmy, as he basically acted as Saskia’s coordinated cream accessory for the bulk of the season. But what we did see from Saskia wasn’t great! She was the main person spearheading the anti-Sarah campaign, yet when she had to answer for her unkind words, she laid most of the blame on Elle.
Regarding Sarah’s arrival to the group, Saskia told Jess and Elle that “there’s a difference between new and fake,” which encouraged Elle to add there was “something fake” about Sarah. What Elle said got back to Sarah, but Saskia’s hands were somehow left clean.
She also “accosted” Sarah while on a “figurative and literal high horse” to attack her for pitting Nathan and Elias against one another, which reeked of slut-shaming energy. Sarah did nothing to warrant the nasty comments from Saskia, who just appeared to be jumping on the bandwagon of women hating on Sarah for no explicable reason.
Flawless wardrobe aside, Saskia projected a superiority complex vibes that was not cute.
10. Elle
Elle was a lot! Between serving tuna canapés at her Save the Reef fundraiser and spending the entire season harbouring a bizarre grudge against Sarah, this “eco entrepreneur” didn’t exactly prove her character as a ‘leader in the community’ who hopes to “inspire people”.
In addition to her slandering Sarah as “fake” and “so Gold Coast” all season, it was clear she had ulterior motives because she had a filthy crush on her housemate Nathan. This was all while Elle had a boyfriend, Stav, who became a fiancé by the end of the season. What a mess! Elle, sort yourself out!
Please stick to the ceremonial cocoa and ease off on the bad vibes, my gal.
9. Elias
This “Jack of all trades, master of none” had a confusing season. Elias started out fulfilling the typical ‘nice guy’ persona, warning Sarah against dating Nathan because he was a “f*ckboy”. And at first glance, Elias’ intentions seemed noble. “I don’t want Sarah being hurt or f*cked around,” he said in a confessional.
However as the season unfolded, Elias’ feud with Nathan appeared to be rooted in a longstanding grudge with Nathan rather than anything to do with protecting Sarah. He posted an embarrassing Instagram Story of him swinging punches in a boxing session captioned “just biding my time… but it’s inevitable,” which was obviously directed at Nathan.
Elias is just looking to puff out his chest, exert dominance and act like a stereotypical toxic man, with the model even requesting that Nathan meet him in random car park to air out their grievances. It was all extremely cringe. Not zen!
8. Alex
There is no denying that Alex caused the most controversy this season. Beginning with referring to Hannah’s sound bath as a scene from The Handmaid’s Tale, before he quipped that he could have created Jess’ six-year fashion collection from “a trip to Spotlight”. Yes, Alex is savage. But his snarky remarks are often lined with some much-needed cynicism.
At Hannah’s pretentious party, himself and Jade were the only people throughout the sound healing who thought the entire situation was laugh-worthy. And during Jess’ fashion show, he may have made some rude remarks, but a lot of it was accurate. “Progressive for Byron Bay? It’s neutral colours,” he chuckled to Saskia. He wasn’t wrong.
This being said, Alex also just threw shade for the purpose of humiliation. Alex launched an attack on Jade at Cai’s exhibition, questioning the authenticity of his Instagram following as half of Jade’s followers were from Turkey and he has more followers from Iran than from Australia. Jade’s Instagram account might appear fishy, but Alex didn’t have to call him out in front of his new Byron Bay mates.
7. Jess (and Lauren)
Jess became the fence-sitter during conflicts throughout the season. While she wasn’t the one speaking the most about Sarah, she also never defended the singer when the women were getting nasty. In a chat with Elle and Saskia, she said didn’t have a connection with Sarah and “felt nothing” towards her. Then when the same three women did a reformer pilates class, Jess suggested that Sarah was attention-seeking and loved drama.
Her sister Lauren was featured far less often in the eight episodes, but when she did appear, she was often engaging in bad-mouthing others. She was outraged when Alex said snarky comments about Jess’ fashion line, labelling him “the sassiest little bitch” when talking to Jade.
To the sisters’ credit, they both welcomed Jade into their group with open arms, but we just wish they extended the same sentiments to fellow Gold Coaster, Sarah.
6. Nathan
Nathan is the epitome of a friendship flip-flopper. He hopped from one group to the next, not really standing his ground on who he was more aligned with. Nathan also seems to lack self-awareness in the way he reacted to Elias calling him a “f*ckboy”.
Like, has he watched himself on Bachelor In Paradise?!
When confronting Elias, Nathan turned the situation back on his former friend who he called an “egotistical f*ck”. Elias is not the first person to suggest Nathan jumps from girl to girl — which is exactly what he did on BIP — so maybe Nathan should indulge in some self-reflection over his treatment of women, rather than deflect from his own shitty behaviour to try to undermine Elias’ character.
Once the f*ckboy saga ended, the real Nathan shone through and he turned out to actually be quite a nice person. He was one of the only people defending Sarah, he actually heard out Alex’s side, and he ended the season heartbroken after Sarah fled (one hour) to the Gold Coast which pulled at the heartstrings.
5. Jade
It’s impossible to not love Jade. The Instagram celeb who claims to be the most followed male influencer in Australia provided so many hilarious moments throughout the season. He was impressed when anyone finished Year 12 and he was confused that Elle was raising awareness for coral reef bleaching because when he last encountered some coral it “looked fine”.
Jade acted as a peacemaker between Jess and Hannah over their conflict while avoiding getting too much involved in all the Sarah slander going down. The only drama Jade created was between himself and Alex, but that was after Alex accused him of having fake Instagram followers from Turkey and Iran.
In response, Jade truly let him have it. “If you did your research into me properly, you’d realise that I’ve travelled the whole entire world and I’ve worked my f*cking ass off… you’re an actual f*cking joke,” he raged.
He went on to call Alex an “absolute fucking disgrace” and “pathetic”. While these insults weren’t exactly sending out good vibes, Jade was just responding to be attacked, so we can’t hold that against him.
4. Sarah
Sarah had a tough time this season. Who would have known that being from the Gold Coast basically meant you were the lowest scum of the earth? Clearly the Byron Bay bunch have never been to Movie World, it’s such a good time!
Throughout the season, Sarah was routinely called “fake” for err… trying to make new friends. She went on dates with two different men, as any single woman is entitled to do. She sang a few nice songs. She flirted with the concept of wearing linen.
Sarah is lovely — and she deserved better. Please come back to Byron next season, Sarah. It’s just an hour’s drive, you can stop off for a (vegan) sausage roll on the way.
3. Simba
Simba’s evolution from corporate sales bro to Byron Bay poster child was the makeover segment we didn’t know we needed. After leaving his old life behind, Simba is now a “holistic health and spiritual coach”, who describes himself as a hippy.
This man is all about good vibes and uniting people, while wearing some truly distracting outfits. Simba even held a gathering to heal the group in one episode, where he encouraged “mindfulness and groundedness”(??) and performed a fire-twirling routine while wearing a fedora.
It was special.
Simba is also responsible for the most iconic line of the season — “I don’t think I’m an influencer, I think I’m an inspirer” — and for that, we will be forever grateful.
2. Hannah
As the only female in the group to welcome Sarah, Hannah is everything.
In Hannah’s world, gifting someone a hot pink knockoff crystal is a transformative gesture. In Hannah’s world, dragons once inhabited the earth. In Hannah’s world, some fedora-wearing man waving a fire wand is “just so powerful”.
Never change, Hannah.
1. Cai
Cai is a precious angel who deserves the whole world. He is all good vibes. I don’t know why he has a slip ‘n slide at his house, but I will not fight it. Cai and Nathan sliding down a hill at his place while giggling gleefully has to be about as wholesome as this show (or any show) ever got.
In a town where everyone claims to be some sort of “creative”, Cai turned out to actually be a super accomplished artist. For a friendship group that loves to categorise people as “fake”, Cai is as real as you can get.
Good looks, kindness, AND talent? Cai is one in a million.
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