A Christmas Stan & Scrooge Watched ‘The Princess Switch’ Together & Here Are Their Thoughts
Netflix Christmas movies continue to get weirder and nothing quite compares to The Princess Switch. It’s so good and bad simultaneously, that it’s great.
Hailing the triumphant return of High School Musical’s Vanessa Hudgens, the movie features her playing two different roles, one American and one (vaguely) British (but actually from an imaginary country called Montenaro).
It’s the classic tale of girl meets boy, via girl becoming boy’s fake wife or baking buddy. Add snow, an annoying child, a magical village, royal hijinks and you’ve got yourself the ultimate Chrissy film.
With the movie being a massive talking point right now, we thought we’d get Punkee’s resident Christmas stan Tara and scrooge Tahlia to watch the film together.
In the wise words of our patron saint P!nk, “let’s get this party started!”
Credits:
Tara: I love that every single Christmas movie opens in the exact same way. It’s usually New York, this time around Chicago but it still ticks all the boxes. Is this John Mayer? Probz not. I don’t know music from any era except the noughties.
Tahlia: I literally thought this was New York and I was settling in for Miracle On 34th Street, Take Two. Which is, may I add, the most superior Christmas movie of them all and the only one I have ever truly enjoyed.
Tara: Nooooo. That has that annoying kid from Matilda in, the one I irrationally despise for no reason.
We see Vanessa for the first time!
Tara: Okay, I’ve just realised I haven’t seen Vanessa Hudgens on screen for a very long time. Did she always talk like this and do her eyes always bulge out of her skull? She’s intense. Plus her accent is all over the shop.
Tahlia: Vanessa, R U OK??? I am getting some serious Get Out vibes from her or she looks as though she’s struggling with some serious Stockholm Syndrome. Blink twice if you need help!
Tara: She’s definitely sending signals with her eyeballs. Also, I’m loving this very natural banter. But wait, so they’re invited to this bakery thing and Stacy makes the very valid point that they can’t close their shop over Xmas just out of the blue and the kid is all ‘YOU’LL HAVE A PRINCE’?! That’s not a valid reply. I dislike children.
Tahlia: Also, like, I’d rather just bake myself treats any day of the week and not have to deal with men.
We meet her baking nemesis:
Tara: Oh man, I love this shit. Warfare over cake is my jam, pardon the pun. This bitch Brianna is just the best. Was that a weird sex joke? Did Stacy just slut-shame Brianna? So many questions.
Tahlia: Brianna SAUCED their professor’s berries?! This movie just went from 0-100.
Stacy & Margaret meet each other for the first time:
Tara: Why are they not screaming ‘YOU HAVE MY FACE! GIVE IT BACK!’
Tahlia: Ahh the classic, “wow we look EXACTLY the same but are only mildly shocked” reaction. I’d be dragging her by the arm and introducing her to my BFF straight up, to make sure I wasn’t having a full psychotic break. Like, in the modern world, as if you wouldn’t get a sneaky snap and send it to your mates being like, “um hello, isn’t this WILD?!”
Tara: They are way too chill about it all, but that’s Xmas movies for you. Weird and magic shit is just considered normal. I can’t wait until they break into song or turn into reindeers.
Tahlia: There is a distinct lack of Christmas Carols in this movie, I will say. I don’t even understand why it’s a Christmas-themed movie, apart from the fact there are lots of Xmas decorations.
They swap identities:
Tara: Okay so they agree to body swap and I don’t really know why. And Margaret has only met Edward twice before becoming engaged? Weird, but also I’m lazy so this sounds like an OK concept.
Tahlia: Also, Stacy is such a control freak and all of a sudden she’s just maniacally grinning like, “OK I will swap with you, random stranger!”
Tara: This is how I impersonate British people, if you add on the end ‘CHEERIO GOV’NA!’ so I’m very convinced. Although what are the chances they’d have the same phones and can just swap covers? This movie about a baker and princess exchanging lives is very unrealistic.
Tahlia: If I was Stacy, I’d be spewing about having to cut my hair.
Stacy meets Prince Edward:
Tara: This entire scene is flawless and hilarious and I will hear nothing of the contrary. A ROYAL LOG! I love it. Keep this shit coming.
Tahlia: I got distracted from Vanessa’s terrible accent spending a good few minutes wondering if I found Edward hot or if it’s just his accent. I’m confused. But also my new excuse for everything is going to be “and that’s how we do things in Montenaro!”
Tara: I don’t find Edward hot, which is weird ‘cos (as you know) I have terrible taste in men.
Tahlia: I’m still in shock you found Nathan from The Bachelorette hot, tbh.
Tara: I didn’t feel much sexual chemistry between these two but that’s never stopped me from pashing a rando, so no judgement here.
Tahlia: This is such a British kiss, Stacy is meant for him after all.
Tara: It’s weird he keeps saying she reminds him of his grandma, sorry but that is a mood killer for me tbh.
Tahlia: We’ve heard of daddy issues, introducing grandma issues. (I hate myself.)
Margaret meets hot guy Nick:
Tara: I’ve never seen this actor before but I’ve already slid into his DMs.
Tahlia: Forget the prince, those abs would make me swear my allegiance to the monarchy. What a Christmas miracle.
Tara: Are we really supposed to believe Nick’s annoying kid knows Stacy better than a guy she’s known since high school? It’s funny in Xmas movies all the kids are either geniuses or magic. I reckon she’s an elf!
Tahlia: Why is this kid so invested in her dad’s love life? She doesn’t even care if it’s Stacy or her lookalike, she’s like “someone mack on with my Dad.” It’s weird.
Tara: I must say it doesn’t make much sense why Margaret can’t tell Nick her real identity??? Rather than just making out with him as another woman and making everything awkward.
Tahlia: The premise is so weird because Stacy is his BFF and all of a sudden “she” lets loose a little and he’s in love with her, after all these years? All she needed was a haircut and some spontaneity? Is that the message I’m meant to derive from this whole mess?
Tara: I don’t like the idea of that? Platonic friendships exist, Netflix. Anyways, how does Margaret remember to speak in that accent yet forgets to not say dumb shit like ‘I’ve never been in a toy store!’ Get your shit together, Margs.
Tahlia: I’d go to a toy store with Nick any day of the week.
The jig is up:
Tara: I feel like this whole thing could have been avoided but I won’t hold that against them.
Tahlia: Everyone is way, WAY too chill about this situation, especially considering they’re all meant to be “in love” after two days or whatever it’s been.
Tara: Nick’s face here is the ultimate mood of this film. He doesn’t really know why they had to lie but he was happy enough to go along for the ride.
Tahlia: “Oh, so I thought I fell for my bestie but it turned out to be her royal lookalike even though they’re not even sure they’re related at all but are absolutely identical, and after two days the royal lookalike is in love with me? Yeah, cool, no further questions here! Love you too, Margaret!”
Tara: Just hook up with Brianna instead! I’ll bring the sauce.
Tahlia: Also like… again, how is this a Christmas movie, pls explain.
Happy ending!
Tara: I often marry strange men I’ve known for three days. This makes no sense and I love it so much.
Tahlia: This movie was so long. Also, I still have questions. Is Stacy just baking in Europe now? Margaret’s just fucked off to live a life doing nothing in Chicago? What happened to Margaret’s sitter lady and the weird-ass butler dude? Where’s the magical guy that started this whole mess? Why did I watch this whole thing?
Tara: Don’t ask questions just let it wash over you like warm cup of hot chocolate. I need to watch this movie at least five more times and I demand to have it played at my wedding (jk, I’m going to die alone).