We Can Guess Every Aussie Girl’s Personality Based On Her Middle Name

I’m just going to say it, middle names are pointless.

Now before you @ us and tell us that your middle name was chosen because of your great-uncle’s-third wife’s-dog’s-cousin’s-vet’s-sister who died, just ask yourself, is it really necessary?

We all know that when it comes to most Aussie middle names, there are a fair few that pop up more often than others. Why is that? IDK. But what we do know is that certain names tend to lend to certain personality patterns.

I mean, have you ever met a person with the middle name Grace who WASN’T hella extra? And have you ever encountered a girl middle named Rose who REFUSED to eat blue cheese?

We’ve taken a stab at guessing people’s personalities based on the *most common* middle names.

Maree

I’m just gonna say it, I’ve never met a Maree middle name who DIDN’T reverse park.

I’M SERIOUS. Marees are always backing up into car spots, when more often than not pulling in is 800 times easier. She’s gotta be just showing off… right?

Maree girls also pretty much only have two looks. If you invite her over, she’ll either rock up in just sweat pants and a hoodie, or she’ll look as though she JUST stepped off the Met Gala carpet 10 minutes ago. There’s no in-between.

Louise

Louise girls were the type that always took high school P.E. a little too seriously.

Like, can someone plz tell these Louise girls that this is literally just curriculum netball, and NOT Olympic level training with Liz Ellis? CHILLAX.

Louises were ALWAYS school captains, but between you and me, she did not deserve that title one bit. Like, OBVIOUSLY you’re going to be school captain when you’ve spent the last five years sucking up to any teacher with a pulse?!

I DESERVE THAT BADGE. INTROVERTS SHOULD BE CAPTAINS TOO.

Anne

If you know an Anne girl, then you know that she had a weird obsession with One Direction when she was 14.

I’m not talking any RANDOM obsession, oh no. I’m talking posters in her room, waited outside of the Shangri-La, wrote ‘Mrs. Harry Styles’ on her science notebook-type obsessed.

Also, for some reason, Annes cannot handle spicy food. I’m talking lower than low tolerance. I once met an Anne girl who didn’t get pepper on her Subway sandwich, because she said it was too spicy. PEPPER.

Therese

More often than not we ask ourselves, are Therese girls funny? Or are they just rude AF?

Like, is she serving you quality banter? Or did she literally just indirectly call you a nerd and say that your outfit looks like it was fished out of the trash bin at Vinnies? Hmmm….

Furthermore, Thereses cannot be on time to save your life, they are ALWAYS running late. If a Therese girl tells you to meet at 7pm, don’t even bother leaving your house until AT LEAST 8:30pm, because chances are she hasn’t even started her makeup yet.

Grace

Someone answer me this: why do all Grace girls think they’re the main character? You are a supporting actress at best, okay, pipe down.

Graces are always going on about how fabulous their life is. We get it, you have a hot boyfriend, an amazing house, great teeth, and perfect credit, now plz stop talking about it so I can get back to my sad, pathetic, povo, single life. OK, great.

One thing’s for sure though, never try and out-drink a Grace girl. She can take shot after shot and not even crack a sweat. You’ll never see her messy in the club, nor will you see her drunk making out with a random. Grace girls can handle their liquor and that’s that.

Rose

If Gretchen Weiner had a middle name, it would be Rose.

Rose girls know everything about everyone. She claims she ‘hates drama’, yet is the first to ask the tea when drama goes down.

Similarly, Roses are the best cyberstalkers. I’m convinced that everyone at the CIA has the middle name Rose, because they can find anyone with literally the most minimal details.

Saw a hot guy working at Kmart who had black hair and a Von Zipper tee? Tell your Rose mate, because in 10 mins she’ll find his Instagram, Snapchat, Linkedin, SoundCloud, and Clash of Clans account.

Elizabeth

If I see ONE more Elizabeth girl on my Instagram throwing up a picture of something menial and writing ‘Day for it!’, I might just end it all…

Elizabeths are the type who drive small hatchback cars, and only order white bread instead of Italian herbs and cheese at Subway.

They’re also the type to leave you on ‘seen’ and post Snapchat stories all day, but then claim that she “never saw your message!!! x”.

IDK why but every single Elizabeth girl I’ve met has one of those annoying leather phone cases with their initials on it. AND they’ll include the ‘E’ letter even though it’s literally just their middle name!! WHY?!

Jane

Jane girls are foodies. They know the best restaurants, the best snacks, and most importantly the BEST weird food combos.

I’m talking pickles with peanut butter, fries dipped in honey, lobster in popcorn…YUM!

Janes also have weird AF laughs. If you crack a joke to a Jane girl and she finds that ‘ish EXTRA funny, make sure you hit record because her laugh is definitely one to keep on file.

Can someone answer me why Jane girls are so obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy? You would think that after SEVENTEEN seasons they’d be bored with it, but nope! I mean, how many times can you cry while watching the Derek Shepherd scene? PATRICK DEMPSEY WAS FIRED, IT’S NOT THAT DEEP.