Sorry, But Donut King Is The Only Donut Worth Eating
I’ve eaten a lot of donuts in my life. Probably too many. But do you know what hits better than anything else? The king. The Donut King.
Initially, I set out to rank every donut store but upon deeper investigation I realised that there is only one donut that I ever truly crave. One yeasty boy to top them all: the pink dinosaur donut from Donut King.
Over the years we’ve been pretty spoilt for choice when it comes to donuts and I am not going to lie to you and say I’ve always been a Donut King loyalist. Like many of us, I have gone through the phases of craving a Krispy Kreme or spending a small fortune on one of those gourmet Doughnut Time treats, but I have recently rediscovered the OG — probably the first donut I ever ate — and I’ve gotta say: it still hits the spot.
I recently treated myself to a pink dino donut while nursing a severe hangover at my local Westfield. And let me tell you, that first bite cured every ailment I’ve ever had. Hangover? Gone. Anxiety about the text I sent a man after one date? Vanished. Skin? Clear.
The Donut King donut was a staple after school snack that lives in the same category as the beloved Wendy’s treat when you’d help your mum with the groceries. But it’s not just the nostalgia factor that makes this donut so iconic.
Unlike other donut establishments, the King isn’t trying to be something he’s not. A Donut King donut doesn’t think it’s too good for you (*cough* those $10 Doughnut Time donuts *cough*), and unlike Krispy Kreme, it doesn’t rely on fancy brand recognition or being stocked in seemingly every store in the country.
Instead, Donut King relies on simply one thing: delicious donuts.
Nothing fancy. Nothing overpriced. Just a good ol’ yeasted dough covered in some icing and decorated with some sprinkles. No fuss.
But I think the reason that a Donut King donut hits the spot in a way that nothing else can is the fact that you have to work for it. Finding a Donut King in the year 2022 is like finding the clitoris: most men simply can’t do it.
According to my research, there are only 226 Donut King stores left in the country — which may seem like a big number until you consider the fact that Krispy Kremes are stocked in 7/11’s 600+ locations, as well as most supermarkets AND their own standalone stores.
In my personal opinion, there should be a mandated Donut King store in every Westfield across the country, but the scarcity of this goddamn delicacy means that its all the more delicious when you actually manage to find one.
Reject modernity, embrace tradition. Eat a Donut King donut.