DRESSGATE: First Ep Of ‘The Bachelor’ Was Explosive But Who’s The Next Keira?
“We just ate while Jennifer cried,” that’s an accurate summary of tonight’s The Bachelor premiere.
What a first ep! We were promised drama and Channel Ten, oh boy they… DELIVERED. We met a host of ladies, some nice and normal, some the clear series villains – and then there was Natalie.
She is a gift to us all.
Pls never leave us…
There were no surprises at the rose ceremony. Everyone we spent time with received a rose and the two ladies that have been completely edited out of the episode were the ones that left roseless (Monica and Stacey). Sorry ladies, but no great loss there.
We did learn about a new “secret garden” which is a place Matty can take the women as a treat, and defs isn’t a metaphor for a woman’s lady parts.
What did surprise was the drama that unfolded from the get-go.
First there was Leah. She has the confidence of Keira, but is lacking the people skillz. She is basic.
In fact she shimmied into the cocktail party like she was motherfunkin Queen of England. She ignored half the girls, and was quickly hated by all.
What’s more – she copped the evil Keira Deville jazzy soundtrack.
If I were Matty, I'd be terrified Leah was going to eat me alive & pick her teeth with my skeleton… #TheBachelorAU
— Ms Miranda Meow Meow (@miranda_maybe) July 26, 2017
The only way I want Leah to get a rose is if she's allergic to roses. #TheBachelorAU
— Michael Beveridge (@mickyb273) July 26, 2017
Leah is the Ja'mie of this group #thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/iny30eBgFB
— AtomicNicky (@AtomicNicky) July 26, 2017
No ones ever friend zoned Leah because I'm pretty sure that requires someone to be her friend. #TheBachelorAU
— jackson langford (@jacksonlangford) July 26, 2017
If we thought that’s where the drama would end. N.O.P.E.
Then there was the ‘dress comment’ to end ALL dress comments. The four worded sentence that would send the women into a spin.
“That dress is putrid.”
This is what Elizabeth said to Jennifer. HOW. DARE. SHE. Her dress was not putrid. Or was it?
While Jennifer had been feeding us a big spiel about her maturity and detest for all drama – she progressed to sulking like a 16 year old at school formal for the remainder of the episode.
Lizzy backflipped and said was referring to the mud on it. Yeahhh… sure… that checks out.
The other girls comforted Jennifer as she poured her tears into a bowl of popcorn.
*Sob sob munch munch*
Other than Leah, Elizabeth and Jennifer giving their best Keira impressions, the rest of the girls just went on about cutting each other’s grass.
While drama comes and goes… Natalie is forever.