7 Reasons Why The DJ Should Just Suck It Up And Play ‘Drunk In Love’ Like I Asked

Too many nights have wasted away without Beyoncé’s iconic masterpiece ‘Drunk In Love’ being unleashed in the club. It’s a tragedy and a crime and it must be stopped.

I’m talking to you, you generic DJ’s that think you’re above playing ‘Drunk In Love’. You’re drunk on the power of withholding the one thing we want most and the feeling of superiority you get from belittling this pivotal piece of pop culture as a silly bit of girly music. I guess it’s not in the leagues of the serious ~arty~ quality music YOU are going to play.

Well, I am merely a humble citizen of this dancefloor with a simple request. Get fucked and play it, mate.

I would like to expand on this statement with eight key reasons why the DJ should just in fact, just play ‘Drunk In Love’ like I freakin’ asked. Let’s get started!

1. It gets the people GOING.

Literally, you have one job and it’s to get us turnt. Well, ‘Drunk In Love’ is our anthem and our mating call so just play it already and watch the magic happen.

Do you want beautiful bodies grinding up in the club or not, mate? Do. The. Right. Thing!

‘Drunk In Love’ is a masterpiece that belongs in two places, the dancefloor and the bedroom. And if you don’t play it on the dancefloor, then there may be no one drunk OR in love in the bedroom, so don’t fuck this up for everyone.

2. It is the irrefutably the greatest club ballad of all time.

This might sound like a sweeping claim but in fact, it’s NOT. It is SCIENCE and I am 100% correct. ‘Drunk In Love’ is the greatest love song, the greatest duet and the absolute greatest club ballad in the history of sound. In fact, I am confused as to why the DJ is playing anything else.

Also, to be clear, I’m talking about the ENTIRE song. None of this ‘one verse then moving right along’ bullshit. I’m talking all 5 minutes and 23 seconds. We wanna hear Jay’s rap, we wanna hear every last “in looOOOOOOOVe” and we need to hear this:

3. There are special dance moves that need to be unleashed.

Like when Yoncé says “riding it wit my serf boardddddd”

“swervin’ on that, swervin’ swervin’ on that big body”

Give us this moment to roll around on the club floor gesticulating like Bey.

4. Beyonce is always the right choice.

When it comes to picking the music, there are wrong choices (things that are not Beyoncé) and then there are right choices (things that involve Beyoncé), and then there is THE right choice (BEYONCÉ ‘DRUNK IN LOVE’ PLAY IT, BITCH).

5. Because I said please.

Look I’ve been very patient and polite, but things might start to get ugly if you don’t give up this “I’m-a-DJ-and-I-look-down-upon-your-mainstream-Beyoncé -request pretentiousness”. And I speak for the people when I say they. fucking. want. to. hear. ‘DRUNK IN LOVE’.

6. It will sound so good when the whole club sings it.

Like an impromptu choir performance. Yay.

7. We are all (probably) drunk and not in love, so please just give us this.

Life is hard and we are drunk and everyone’s lonely so plz allow us to live vicariously through Beyoncé and just hear the damn TRACK.