What Your Drunk Macca’s Order Says About You

An Aussie rite of passage is finishing up drinking, dancing, clubbing, or pubbing for the night and heading to the golden arches for some delicious treats that’ll hopefully have you waking up feeling fresh the next day.

Whether you’re stumbling out of Kings Cross or Uber Eats-ing yourself a little treat on the way home, many of us have been prone to the good, old, late-night Macca’s orders.

And what a selection!

Whether you’re desperate for nuggs or completely reckless and sipping a thickshake like it’s the cure to all hangovers (brave!!), Macca’s provides a range of options for your drunk self to choose from.

So in the name of science, here’s what your drunk Macca’s order says about you:

Egg McMuffin & Hashbrowns

You’re the mum or dad of your friend group and always making sure everyone’s OK. Is Sally hydrated enough? Is Tasmin crying over Scott again? Is Kellie talking to anyone new or just a brick wall, as she tends to do when she drinks too much? You’re the glue that holds everyone in your life together and always the last man standing.

McChicken meal

You’re cool, calm, and collected and always reliable. You’re the one who likes to plan holidays, group adventures, and everyone always knows the pub booking is under your name. After a few drinks you can get a bit too squeaky, but you calm down eventually, especially once the hiccups have subsided.

Cheeseburger meal

You’re the first of your friends on board the latest trends, even if the latest trends are just things from our youth that have been recycled. You’re the one who’s always sending the funniest TikToks, you love to delve into conspiracy theories, and after a few drinks you’re emoji reacting to everyone’s Instagram stories like they’re your BFF.

Fries & a Sundae

You don’t give a fuck about the rules and like to march to the beat of your own drum. You’re the fun one in your friendship group and the one everyone always wants to go out with. Socially, you’re thriving. Mentally, you can be a mess.

20 Nuggs

You’re an absolute chaos monster. You were probably dragged away from the bar, kicking and screaming about not getting your tequila shots, until you realised you could spend that money on some nuggs. You also probably woke up spooning the half-empty box, a nugg gently stuck to your cheek.

Quarter Pounder & Fries

You like to travel, but only interstate. You think you’re adventurous but adventurous to you is not checking the train schedule before you get to the station to know which one you’re going to catch. When no one’s looking, you’re eating their leftovers. You’re the one voted most likely to trip down the stairs on the way out of the pub.

Filet-O-Fish

You haven’t processed your childhood trauma or Catholic guilt. Forget reconciliation, it’s time for therapy.

Happy Meal

You’ve convinced yourself it’s frugal but once you added a bottle of water to the deal, you honestly didn’t save that much money. This kind of sums up your life — you have the best intentions but things don’t always work out for you and you have a bad habit of going back to the same fuckboi time and time again. Luckily, your friends think you’re hilarious so all is easily forgivable.