Eurovision 2016 Song Contest Guide 2016

Eurovision 2016: The Vine’s Definitive Song Ranking Of The Contenders

Crack out the Jägermeister – all of the countries competing in Eurovision 2016 have now released the songs they will be performing on the big night.

Some strange, some bad and some just plain scary. But there are also some quality tunes and straight-out B.A.N.G.E.R.S.

With Dami Im set to fly the Australian flag, we go through her biggest competition between the nations vying for the title, counting down number 43 all the way to’s number one.

Note – to make this page load faster, we’ve divided out the videos. Hit next to load the next batch of clips.


  1. San Marino – Serhat, ‘I Didn’t Know’

This will either be the best or worst thing you watch today and must be seen to be believed. Between a dancing paper puppet version of himself, blank birthday cards to daisy plucking and his removable monocle, Serhat is a star in the making.

Unfortunately, this video has since been replaced by a disco version on a boring ol’ stage, which Serhat will be performing on the big night- if possible, it is actually much worse. Stick with this one, Serhat. Monocle for the win!

  1. Greece – Argo, ‘Utopian Land’

Soz, Greece but this one is dullapalooza. We get it, you can run.

  1. Austria – ZOË, ‘Loin d’ici’

Flowers are pretty, lady is pretty but this song is sadly super forgettable.

  1. Bosnia & Herzegozina – Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala, ‘Ljubav Je’

Duets don’t have the best history on Eurovision and this song is too middle ground. Nice chello, though.

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