09 Jan 2019

Every Chris Hemsworth Movie Ranked From ‘He’s A Living God’ To ‘Oh No His Hair Got Shit’

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It’s hard to believe that 2019 marks ten years since Chris Hemsworth got his big break in Hollywood and became the most hunkiest hunk to ever enter our hearts and screensavers.

I personally don’t want to imagine a world where Hemsworth isn’t a permanent fixture on our screens. From his breakout role in Star Trek, to him giving Pantene commercials a run for their money as Thor, there is simply nothing that Chris (and his hair) can’t do.

With this in mind, we decided to look at his back catalogue of films and what has shaped his career so far. Here is our movie ranking, starting from worst to best. Enjoy!

#10. Red Dawn

This is a very very bad movie and has so many eye-roll moments that I’ve practically lost my pupils.

The film was widely panned and I’m afraid even our sweet baby Hemsworth can’t save this sinking ship. It’s just a bunch of men with guns and not much else beneath the surface.

#9. Snow White and The Huntsman & Sequel

I think we have all suppressed these films from our collective memory. Sure, he gets to share the screen with total bosses Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart but Hemsworth was wasted in this role.

Plus, I just really don’t like his hair in this movie. What have they done to you?! It’s so greasy and stringy. How dare they.

#8. Rush

I had to google this movie to work out what it was. Turns out it is about Formula 1 racing and with that information my interest has died dead in the ground. Extra points for the British accent tho.

#7. Star Trek

I’m sorry but Chris’ presence in this iconic film franchise had been totally erased my mind. Possibly because his hair is very bad in it.

Tbh having two famous Chrises in one film is just too much of a mindfuck for my simple brain to comprehend. In this war of Chrises, Chris Pine wins this time.

#6. In The Heart of The Sea

It seems nothing marks the success of a Hollywood actor like getting to star in their very own sad boat movie. So windy! Hoist the port! Slam down on the sails! Anchors away!

Okay, I get that it was a precursor to Moby Dick and the story is beloved. This movie was fine. Chris got pretty wet, which didn’t do wonders for his hair. At least the whale wins in the end.

#5. Bad Times at the El Royale

This is the closest Chris has come to playing a villain in a film and HELL YEAH. Taking on the role of a charismatic cult leader, this is arguably the most complex character Hemsworth has ever performed.

I really thought I would hate him with a moustache but if it’s wrong I don’t want to be right. This now thoroughly memed dance move of his still does things to my undercarriage.

#4. The Cabin in The Woods

This is an incredibly good movie which played on overdone horror movie tropes and Chris absolutely nailed the stereotypical role of the dumb arrogant jock.

And it gave us the first glimpse of how Chris could nail comedic material.

#3. The Avengers Franchise

We can all agree the best thing about the Avengers squad is Spider-Man, I mean Spider-Man AND Thor. Tbh, Tony Stark is an arrogant jerk and Captain America has about as much personality as Thor’s hammer.

However, Infinity War was absolute nonsense as I will never accept that Thanos could win in a battle against Thor. Thanos doesn’t even have any hair.

#2. Ghostbusters

Casting Hemsworth as the bimbo receptionist in the female led Ghostbusters reboot was ICONIC. This might be a poor reflection on myself but I’ve never been more attracted to him than in this movie.

He was so sweet, so innocent, such a beautiful blonde idiot. I’m still hoping the mimbo character archetype will soon start catching on. What an innocent angel.

#1. Thor 1, 2 & 3

As if I could choose any other movie franchise. This was the role that solidified Chris’ status as an absolute movie star and the hunkiest of Hollywood hunks.

That smile. That charisma. THAT HAIR.