Tonight’s Heart-Punching Bachy Ep Retold Via Its Funniest Tweets
With only one episode left of the shitshow that has been The Bachelor 2018, tonight we didn’t even get to see our last rose ceremony. We were robbed, I tell you.
Alas, everyone’s fave from day one Brooke went ahead and walked from the show. While we’re low-key devastated, we applaud her.
The rest of the ep was just dates with the second and third placed Brittany and Sophie. Ice cream was eaten, skies were almost dived.
Tbh, the ep was a mess and Twitter was the best part.
Here’s tonight’s semi-finale retold via its funniest tweets:
Sophie was first up for a date where Nick made her skydive. She proudly declared she was planning to shit herself. Who says romance is dead.
sophie: hey nice ride
nick: thanks, what about the car
i don't know why any woman would be expected to find this attractive #TheBachelorAU
— taryn ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง (@thereafter) October 3, 2018
Skydiving? They better get to sit on a real nice couch in a random location after this! #TheBachelorAU
— Claire de Freitas (@Ms_Clairey_d) October 3, 2018
Me if someone ever took me to jump out of a plane on a date #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/LDqgk5Wz7u
— Sian Maloney (@Sian__Maloney) October 3, 2018
All of us have wanted to push Nick out of a plane at least once this season #thebachelorau
— Kiera (@UnderYourPorch) October 3, 2018
Shout out to our mate who's LITERALLY STRAPPED TO BADGE WHILE HE'S PASHING SOMEONE. #thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/Ids6ikpAJV
— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) October 3, 2018
Brittany then had her turn for a date and they ate ice cream and looked at a lighthouse.
He's going to pick Brittany just so her dad doesn't murder him, isn't he? #TheBachelorAU
— Ben Pobjie (@benpobjie) October 3, 2018
A concept: A man shows up in a Messina truck, gives me the ice cream & then leaves #TheBachelorAU
— Tahlia Pritchard (@Tahls) October 3, 2018
I'm getting more of a Round The Twist vibe but, sure, we'll go with fairytales #TheBachelorAU https://t.co/yGF9rcOL20
— Pipe down, Chachi (@bishcheese) October 3, 2018
‘You remind me of old Hollywood, so….
…let’s climb this really tall lighthouse!’ ? #TheBachelorAU
— Tom Ford (@TomFord83) October 3, 2018
But she continued to bang on about Nick’s history with Cass.
Brittany shocked and confused at nick having past relationships #thebachelorau #bcm114 pic.twitter.com/vsOxN89hWp
— Tarushi Fernando (@TarushiFernando) October 3, 2018
"My sister who has never met you told me something she vaguely remembered reading on a website so what's up with THAT, liar?" #TheBachelorAU
— Ben Pobjie (@benpobjie) October 3, 2018
Can’t form a relationship if it’s not based on honesty. But you can if it’s based on a reality dating show! #thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/XyQEc4RQKo
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) October 3, 2018
Finally, Brooke was picked up on a motorbike for a date with Nick. She tried to get some clarity on their relationship and he waffled on about nothing.
nick: yeah sophs smile is nice 🙂
nick: britt is pretty!
nick: Brooke is AMAZING she's everything i've ever wanted I can't put a word to it, i love being around her ❤️???????
nick: but yeah i have a special connection with all of them #TheBachelorAU— hi (@unoriginalnic) October 3, 2018
He really knows how to say a whole lot of words that end up meaning nothing. #TheBachelorAU
— Non Compos Mentis (@shakeweighted) October 3, 2018
What did any of that mean #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/5AD320tyRF
— Keegs (@keegs) October 3, 2018
??BROOKE??DESERVES??BETTER??
#thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/xHfsgiwB40— ?️✧･ﾟJeZzA ･ﾟ✧?️ (@jennifershore_) October 3, 2018
At the rose ceremony, Brooke walked and the nation grieved the series’ true winner.
Brooke realising she's too good for this shitshow is the only happy ending I am here to see #TheBachelorAU
— Tahlia Pritchard (@Tahls) October 3, 2018
Brooke: I just need more from you
Nick: I can only give you what I’m contractually obliged until I pretend I’m choosing between two people. But I’ll be over to Perth in two shakes of a lambs tail once this is done to give you a good how’s y’father #TheBachelorAU— Kris Read (@DesignedToFade) October 3, 2018
#thebachelorau Brooke slashing her way through tropes that you just wait around for a man to pick you. pic.twitter.com/nQ4uz3IJva
— Dame Kittness (@SoftKittyWarm) October 3, 2018
Brittany and Sophie is it?! #thebachelorau pic.twitter.com/jTPSH8GU2T
— TheSurvivor/BachelorGuy (@HDBorland) October 3, 2018