What To Do When Your Friend Turns Out To Be A Piece Of Shit
Friends, who needs ‘em! Well, all of us sorta do to be fair. Because believe it or not, friends are more than just someone to tag in a meme as they sit in the same room as you.
They’re such a vital part of your support system – the network of people who provide you with practical and emotional support on a day-to-day basis. So then what happens when one of your friends turns out to be a massive piece of shit, a manipulative gronk, a user or just a total, all-round garbage person?
It hurts, man! Watching someone you once considered a mate slowly turn into complete garbage right before your eyes is super painful. But alas, not all hope is lost. If you catch your mate becoming a f*ckwit, we’ve got you covered with some simple steps that’ll keep you sane.
#1 Acknowledge The Fact People Change
They just do, some for better and others for worse. I mean, consider who you are as a person now opposed to who you were a year or two ago. Scary, huh?
It’s important to remind yourself that people do change, and there’s nothing you can do about that. It’s not a reflection of you, or your friendship with the person it’s just… the way the cookie crumbles.
There are a bunch of different and totally justifiable reasons why you wouldn’t want to be friends with someone anymore, and if you’re wondering what exactly constitutes a piece-of-shit friend, let us spell it out for you:
- They talk shit behind your back.
- They’re keen to hang out but only when it’s convenient for them.
- They don’t check in on you when you’re going through a rough time.
- They lie about shit (trivial or not).
- They’re happy to go in on rounds at the pub but disappear when it’s their shout.
- Manipulative as hell.
- They make you do shit you don’t wanna do.
- They actively exclude you.
Look, we could go on and on, but we reckon you get the gist. All telltale signs of a garbage human.
#2 Try To Pinpoint The Problem
OK so why is your mate being such a dick? Can you pinpoint the problem? Yeah, people change but sometimes there are external factors, which can explain why they’re on their bullshit.
For example, has your bestie just entered a new relationship? If they have and they’re acting weird and distant, it’s totally normal! Give them some space to breathe.
One of the most important lessons to learn is that you can’t expect one person to fill every single role of a friend — that’s waaaay too much pressure on them.
Sure, they mightn’t be around to hang out every night anymore, but if they’re still supportive, loving (or whatever else is important to you) they’re worth holding onto.
Some reasons can be a little more fucked. Maybe they’ve made some mates they deem much cooler than you and are trying to push you out of their life. In that case, fuck them.
Once you’ve pinpointed the problem, it’s much easier to move on to the next step.
#3 Call Them Out On Their Bullshit
If you’re not a fan of confrontation, this won’t be a very fun step. But if, like me, you THRIVE on confrontation, you’ll love it.
Chat to them one-on-one and ask them what’s going on — make a mental list of all the things you’re upset with and call them out on it. Bear in mind though that this is a discussion, not a lecture — you won’t get anything out of it if you just show up, yell at them, then leave.
Take this opportunity to chat through your problems, you might just reach some kind of resolution then and there.
At this point, it becomes a choose your own adventure — you can do one of these two!
#4 Try And Work Through It
Trying to work through a broken relationship with a mate can be tough. It requires forgiveness, time, and a whole lot of hard work. It is doable though.
If you guys can both admit your mistakes and agree to work on them, you might just be onto a winner.
#5 Break Up With Them
It never hurts trying to repair a relationship. But sometimes it just gets to the point where you can’t deal anymore, and you’ve tried everything you can to salvage that unsavable wreck of a friendship.
Breaking up with a friend can mean a bunch of different things. You might choose to distance yourself or agree to keep thing civil and just set boundaries — whatever works best for you.
What’s most important is to be honest with yourself, and your friends. A bad friend can seriously impact your mental health, so don’t let them get you down, boo.