People Share The Moment They Realised Their Friends Were Actually Assholes

Friendships evolve and dissolve, especially ones that began when we were in primary or high school. And sometimes, we simply grow out of our friends.

You could find that you no longer have anything in common with your former buddy. You could have a big fight that forever alters a friendship. You could meet new people you bond with in adulthood, who end up replacing older friendships. Or you could get into a relationship and no longer prioritise your friends. But there are also times when you just realise: your friend is an asshole.

Whether they were always an asshole and you just tolerated it, or maybe they have changed in recent years, it can be tough to grapple with. Over on r/AskReddit, the question was posed “When was the moment you realised that your friends are assholes?” and the answers will probably make you feel grateful for your friends who don’t suck.

People on r/AskReddit share the moment they realised their friends were assholes:

Some posts have been edited for clarity. 

“I realised that other people don’t shit on each other on every possible occasion in their friendship circle. And that it isn’t right when a ‘friend’ uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to.”

– @viscousplateman

“She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her.

“Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they’d play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more. All the while, they knew he didn’t like me, he had told them both directly.”

– @juliemj

“They were picking on a member of our group for random crap (eg her hair, her clothes etc). I snapped and told them to stfu and that they sounded like a band of hyenas, and they said ‘if she doesn’t know how shit she is, her life will be hard, we are HELPING her’.

“Needless to say, we didn’t keep in touch afterwards.”

– @okbtsy

“When he propositioned my girlfriend to have sex with him under the guise of making sure she was being faithful to me.”

– @due_primary_90

“They did a donut in the car I was sitting on — ON, NOT IN. I had a lump on my eyebrow the size of a lemon. Fuck you, Barbara.”

– @nonotthathole

“When I finally realised that if she was bitching about other people to me, she was most likely bitching about me to them. It took me a surprisingly long time to figure this one out.”

– @vickybarkers

“When he didn’t invite me or even tell me about his wedding but called on the wedding day and asked me to lend him $1000 because he was in a tight spot.”

– @suvenpan

“When they didn’t respect how I feel about a subject and kept on bringing it up, and making up horrible excuses to continue doing it. I left them after that. Now I’m lonely but it was right, but somehow it felt wrong too.”

– @sugar_spino023

“I was always the one calling or texting some friends and trying to get something going. One day, I just gave up reaching out to see if they’d call me and I haven’t heard from them since.”

– @polygonbancorp

“My grandma — who lived over 1000 miles and an ocean away — was dying and my friend wouldn’t stop talking about her new boyfriend.”

– @extralargegothcoffee

And finally…

“When I started hanging out with better people.”

– @darklink326