8 Women Share Their Funniest & Most Awkward Period Stories
A new period in periods is here. Introducing Bonds Bloody Comfy Period Undies.
Can’t believe I’m about to be the first person to tell you this, but periods are the worst.
Okay, that might be a bit of an overstatement (see: everything else that’s happened in 2020 for comparison).
But we’re pretty confident when we say that almost everyone who’s had a period has a period horror story. Sometimes they leak. Sometimes they arrive early during sex or an especially intense workout. Much like straight men on dating apps, periods have no chill.
Everyone has at some point been betrayed by pads and tampons that mess up the one job they’re supposed to do. Luckily there are loads of alternative products available now, like Bonds Bloody Comfy Period Undies. These are leak-proof, odour-proof, and washable, and they’re available in five cute styles and three absorbency levels for light, moderate, and heavy days. Plus: because they’re reusable, you’re cutting down on the amount of single-use products that end up in landfill.
While we’re eternally grateful to period undies for making the whole experience more bearable, we’ll never forget the times when periods have gone wrong.
So, we rounded up some of the funniest, most awkward, and nightmarish period stories from women on the internet.
#1 Granny panties
“I work at a wildlife park where we have to wear khaki pants. I got my period about two weeks early with no warning.
“The owner of the park is an 87-year-old woman who lives on the property. I was near her house so I ran in and asked for help. She gave me an adult diaper. I completed the next five hours of my shift sporting my bulging, blood-soaked khaki shorts in miserable humiliation.” – Danger_Granger
#2 Too close for comfort
“I had a supremely heavy flow in class one time to the point of my crush commenting on the metallic, tangy smell.” – californiasquirrel
#3 American psycho
“I was emptying my menstrual cup in a public restroom when it snapped open and I got a face full of blood splatter. I had drops of blood on my glasses, shoes, and face. It was a mess. I had to wipe the wall down.” – Imsowhiteimpink
#4 Surprise crime scene
“This gorgeous boy and I were having the best sex ever. After we finished, I went to go freshen up and I saw blood on my thighs.
“I went back to the bedroom and told him to turn on the lights. There was blood everywhere. All over his chest, hands, bed, and everywhere else.” – glittershowers
#5 Stage fright
“I was facing my fear of performing and signed up for an open mic. I did three songs, and as I walked off the stage this girl goes, ‘Hey, you know you’ve got blood all over your dress, right?’” – I_was_serious
#6 Lost and (never) found
“I was at a wrap party for a short film I worked on. I had to go to the bathroom and noticed the panty liner I was wearing was gone. I looked all over for it, but never found it. Lost somewhere in that producer’s house is my dirty panty liner and my pride.” – Greenbean4
#7 Dumpster diving
“I was at my new boyfriend’s house for the first time and had my period. I wrapped my tampon up and put it in the trash can in the bathroom.
“A few days later my boyfriend calls me and says, ‘Just to let you know, the trash can in the downstairs bathroom isn’t a trash can – my mom keeps the magazines and extra paper in there.’
“I was so embarrassed that I denied putting anything in there. He had no sisters.” – x3theforoufusx3
#8 God bless you
“I sneezed so hard my tampon flew out my vagina.” – maisymousex
* Responses have been edited for length and clarity.
A new period in periods is here. Introducing Bonds Bloody Comfort Period Undies.
(Lead image: Erol Ahmed / Unsplash)