This Massive Cheese Event Was A Disaster & Is Being Called Britain’s Fyre Festival

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Personally, I’ve always seen cheese platters as the kind of thing you really can’t fuck up — follow a few simple rules, obtain a suitable range of cheeses, and hey presto.

But over the weekend, a London venue held an event called Giant Cheese Board, which promised unlimited cheese and cheese-related good times, and, well, behold:

According to attendees venting their anger on social media, the event’s supposedly unlimited cheese ended up being pretty limited indeed — and Britain’s middle classes were not impressed.

After shelling out £30 (around $50 AUD) for tickets, people were outraged to find subpar cheese, huge queues, and (you might want to be sitting down for this) no giant wheel of Camembert. I know, I too am shocked and disappointed at what the world has come to.

People were so cheesed off, in fact, that they’ve started comparing #GiantCheeseBoard to Fyre Festival, that bungled luxury music festival in the Bahamas that saw guests turn up to half-finished tents and no luxury to speak of.

And indeed, just like with Fyre Festival, some of the images coming out of #GiantCheeseBoard are truly bleak. See for example this lone cheese plate, abandoned at a nearby bus stop.

Or this shot of a punter staring blankly into space, surrounded by grim tenting and paper plates of cheese that honestly look fine, but must not be if the bloke looks so forlorn about it.

The event organisers have hit back at all the criticism in a 1200 word Facebook post addressing in minute detail every problem people raised. They claim that the cheese supply was not finite but was simply rolled out over a period of six hours, leading to some inevitable bottlenecks.

“If we felt that we had not provided any of the things included in your entry price then we’d be the first to hold our hands up and apologise but this is simply NOT the case!” they wrote.

“We are truely passionate about cheese and have put months of planning and huge investment into this project — we are obviously very upset seeing any negative reactions at all…but to make the statement some of you are in messages and social media is just totally unfair and false!”

The organisers claim to be able to produce documentation proving that many people actually enjoyed the event.

And sure, some people probably did, but as the many comments on the post point out, there are also a lot of angry people who feel like their complaints are being ignored.

Anyway, if you’re in London and keen to see for yourself whether it’s any good, there’ll be another Giant Cheese Board session on Saturday December 23. For now, we leave you with the only unequivocally good thing to come out of this whole clusterfuck: cheese puns.

Feature image via Tom Capon.

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Via Junkee.