Just Hear Me Out: Green Is Actually The Best Lolly Flavour
If there’s one topic that’s guaranteed to kick up some drama, it’s the debate over which lolly flavour is best.
Now we all know that purple and blue trump all else on every occasion, but as the world shifts into “healthy lolly” territory, artificial colours and flavours have been phased out. Booooo! This means you can no longer rely on your fave party mix bag to have those superior colours anymore.
This is why I believe it’s time to declare the green lolly the most delicious, most reliable of all lolly flavours. Green frogs? Delicious. Green snakes? Delectable. Green licorice? Scrumptious. Green Cream Soda Fizzer? Spectacular. Green Skittles? Jesus, take the wheel.
Think about it. Green is usually one of two flavours: Green apple or lime, both absolutely banging tastebud tinglers. Honestly, who doesn’t like a bit of sour lime or nice apple kick? Exactly only people with terrible palates.
And on the off chance that green is another flavour, it’s the superior flavours of mint or green grape. Or better yet, watermelon — arguably the best flavour of any candy in the existence of the world. The options of green flavoured items are truly endless.
The case for green being top tier is only solidified when you think about what your other options actually are. Orange? Orange is boring. Orange is only ever orange flavour when it comes to lollies. There’s no surprise. No excitement.
Then there’s red. The standard, boring classic. Sure, red is fine. It tastes good. But you’re always promised something berry-flavoured, and that’s just so predictable. Plus, green is the superior colour of apple, and green grapes are always better than the red/purple ones. Need I say more?
And don’t even get me started on yellow. If you get a lemon-yellow, it’s a party. But on the off-chance that you get the dreaded BANANA-yellow option?! You end up sitting there rethinking your whole damn life.
The Natural Confectionary Company, I’m 100% looking at you.
the green flavour of any sweet is the best
— ً (@sobiah_) June 28, 2021
Basically what I’m trying to say is green is the most exciting, most versatile, and most delicious lolly flavour and I’m TIRED of hearing green lolly-slander.