I Want ‘Last Christmas’ Star Henry Golding To Drown Me Then Bring Me Back To Life
Henry Golding can get it. If I saw Henry Golding at the beach, I would start drowning just so that he would rescue me and do mouth-to-mouth. If Henry Golding said my name out loud, I would immediately faint so he had to catch me in his arms. If Henry Golding was a snack, he would be a packet of Arnott’s Chocolate Teddy Bears, because I can’t stop eating them…
The Crazy Rich Asians actor stars in the new rom-com from Paul Feig, Last Christmas, opposite Game of Thrones‘ Emilia Clarke, which opened in cinemas this week to pretentious reviews.
But the reviews criticising the film’s obvious twist (if you know the lyrics to Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’, you know the twist) miss the point of the movie: it’s a classic Christmas movie. It’s about how we are all constantly striving to become better people, especially at holiday season. It’s about how pretty London can be in December, right before it is miserable for 3-5 months. It’s about the power of community and connection in a post-Brexit world.
But most of all, it’s about spending one hour and 45 minutes unapologetically thirsting after Henry Golding.
Paul Feig has said that he cast Golding in the role of Tom, the man who helps Kate to begin to live fully, because the guy is genuinely that charming in real life. So that means we can assume that the character of Tom and Golding, the person, are interchangeable for the purpose of this story.
The character offers a fresh perspective on life to the cynical Kate, always urging her to “look up,” see the world, and try new things. He dances on the street. He knows how to ice-skate. He likes to cycle. He is extremely well-dressed and handsome. He volunteers for homeless people. He loves birds. He comforts Kate when she is sad. He loves sitting in parks and eavesdropping. He does this:
And this:
Golding also features in Paul Feig’s previous movie, A Simple Favour, which starred Anna Kendrick as Stephanie, a woman trying to figure out what the hell happened to her friend Emily (Blake Lively), who has mysteriously disappeared. He played Emily’s husband, and later Stephanie’s lover, and the film involved scheming, and also he was an English professor, and English professors are hot.
Other things that are sexy about Golding: his British accent, his face, his talent, his fig tree tattoo on his right thigh, his upcoming role in a Guy Ritchie movie with Matthew McConaughey and Colin Farrell, and how he used to work as a hairdresser.
Now let’s reflect on the hotness of Henry Golding by lurking his Instagram together.
Here he is in a suit:
Here he is with three-day moustache growth:
Here he is cuddling Emma Thompson:
Here he is in a tux:
This suit is gold:
Here he is practicing martial arts:
Here he is with a dog:
And another dog:
And also this dog:
That’s it, friends. That’s the whole post. But here’s to one more shirtless Henry Golding pic…