The Emotional Stages Of Hosting A House Party, As Told By Gifs Of Ron Swanson
Whether you’re attending a house party or hosting one, take one to-do off your list and have Tipple deliver your slab of beers.
People don’t talk enough about how throwing a house party is a gosh darn community service.
It can be expensive and sometimes stressful. But dammit if they’re not one hell of a good time. When it comes to house parties, the pay-off for all that effort is huge.
Nothing sums up the simmering anxiety and absolute joy that throwing a house party can conjure like famously hesitant hype guy, Ron Swanson. Observe.
#1 Realising How Much Cleaning You Have To Do
There are 30-plus people descending on your house in a few hours and your place is a pig sty. Time to give it a twice-over.
After a valiant effort, your excitement will overtake your desire to be considered a good housekeeper and you’ll start chucking random loads of laundry behind doors and couches. Let the panic begin.
#2 Getting The Booze Sorted
You are an adult with your priorities squarely in order, so you open up Tipple and place an order for a bunch of booze and mixers with broad crowd appeal. You won’t be frantically calling a late arrival to pick up an over-priced bottle of rosé on their way over, nope sir-ee. You’ve got this whole hosting thing on lock.
#3 Frantically Running To The Shops
If only you’d been that organised about the food. 57 packets of whatever potato chips are on special at 7-Eleven should do it, right? Everybody loves chips!
#4 The Arrival Of Your Mates
Your friends come early to “help you set up”, armed with a mix of spirits and good vibes. They do absolutely nothing, instead sitting in your backyard with pre-party bevvies. You’re not even mad.
#5 Worrying No One Else Will Come
A few mates are there, you’ve got a drink in hand and your outfit is fire. Now you wait for the rest of the guests to arrive.
Then it dawns on you: Oh god, what if no-one else turns up? What if it’s just you, three friends and 887 bags of Smiths chips? You scan the Facebook event once more to check who clicked “attending”. You have another drink.
#6 Realising There Are Way Too Many People
There ends up being an insane amount of people in your house and they’re all congregating in the kitchen. You have friends! This isn’t a disaster! You’re doing great.
#7 Deflecting ‘Housekeeping’ Questions
You’re having such a good time at this party, you forget you’re actually the host. You field questions about the location of the bathroom, if there’s any toilet paper, if you have any mixers. Up the hall, no, and no.
#8 You Really Come Into Your Own
Everyone loves your house! They’re having a great time! Nothing can go wrong! You are the Queen of Party Throwing, Duchess of Fun, HRH of Good Times.
#9 Your Housemate’s Stuff Gets Trashed
Jessica specifically told you to hide her things but that’s Future You’s problem!
#10 Accidental Guac/Drink Spillage
Ah well, that can be chucked out!
#11 Someone Kicks A Hole In The Wall
You’ll call your dad tomorrow for step-by-step instructions for patching it up.
#12 Realising You’re Insanely Hungry
A whole can of Red Bull and a handful of chips does not constitute a good meal. Time to dig out something substantial from the pantry, where absolutely nobody else is allowed to go.
#13 And That The Booze Is Running Low
Speaking of delivery apps, now’s probably a good time to open up Tipple and summon some more booze before the place runs dry. Place the order, wait for your party to go down in history as one of the best. You’re welcome.
—
(Lead image: Parks and Recreation / NBC)
—
Whether you’re attending a house party or hosting one, take one to-do off your list and have Tipple deliver your slab of beers. Even better, you’ve got free delivery on us for orders over $30 – just use code JUNKEEBEERS.
Drink responsibly.