12 Housemate Horror Stories That Will Make You Want To Lock Your Doors & Live Alone

Housemates: You can’t live with them, you can’t live without them.

Well, you can technically live without them if you can afford to I guess… but most of us can’t.

Not to make you feel worse, but we’ve rounded up some absolutely horrifying housemate stories and this could either go one of two ways:

A) You go home and hug your beautiful, angel housemates who are nothing like the below stories, or;
B) You join up to the nearest housemate finder website and move TF out.

OK here goes.

13 People Share Their Most Horrendous Housemate Stories:

1. The one who was too blazed to be phased

“One housemate left a literal trail of breadcrumbs and yoghurt pots from the kitchen to the lounge room where he would blaze up all day with the doors closed and play violent video games.” – Anon

2. The one with bladder control issues

“My old housemate was a big sports fan, so he would often stay up late watching overseas matches and drinking beer. He also had a fun habit of pissing himself every time he got drunk and passed out. Our couch was pissed on A LOT…  thank God we only bought it for $20 on eBay. This is why you can’t have nice things in a share house.” – Anon

3. The uptight kitchen pest

“I lived with a housemate who was SO uptight about cleaning that she once threw out my dinner while I was eating it at the dining table. I had run upstairs for a second to grab my phone, came down and my half-eaten steak was in the bin.” – Anon

4. The midnight lurker

“One time I awoke to a housemate standing in my bedroom in the early hours of the morning. He noticed that I saw him and he immediately said, ‘I’ve been here longer than you’d think’ then walked out.” – James

5. The bed bug owner

“My old flatmate brought in an old couch off the street, which was disgusting and dirty, so we compromised and he kept it in his room.  A week later my other flatmate and I started getting bites all over us. She was convinced it was bed bugs. We went into his room when he wasn’t home, turned the lights on and hundreds of bed bugs of all sizes were crawling on the couch. We had to spend $2000 getting the house sprayed.” – Anon

6. The mystery pisser

“In one house I lived in we had a back toilet that didn’t work, and we were all pigs, so we would just use it to store rubbish like old pizza boxes, cardboard boxes, foam packing from IKEA etc., heaps of real absorbent stuff. Then one night we threw a party and some plastered dude must have found the door to the toilet and not bothered to do any further investigating before he pissed in the direction of where he assumed the toilet was. We didn’t find out until the smell of 6 months’ worth of piss-soaked pizza boxes was too much to bear and we had to go searching for it.” – Lucy

7. The charger thief

“I had this housemate who constantly took my Apple phone charger and swapped it out with her cheap version of one. I noticed because the tip of my charger was silver and hers was gold. Every time I asked her about it, she’d lie and pretend she has no idea what was going on. So many times I’d go into my room to charge my phone and realise the cord was missing and replaced with a broken version. There were even times I’d have to steal my own charger back from her room when she wasn’t home… except she’d notice, then start carrying it around with her. Eventually, every time I left the house I’d have to hide my charger or take it with me. Months after I moved out, I discovered she had started doing the same thing to my other housemates every time her charger broke.” – Tahlia

8. The housemate from hell

“When I was 17 I moved into my first share house. It was me, two of my sisters, my sister’s bf, myself and the son of a family friend… let’s call him James. James’ mum and dad owned the house. When we first moved in, James was super accommodating. Like, a little too accommodating. He would offer to wash our cars, cooked us meals and even decked the lounge room out with a brand new TV, surround-sound system and a bunch of other junk.

“This act lasted about a week, and then things turned south when someone accidentally ate a slice of bread that he had bought. Then, shit got weird. He went OFF in the group chat! Saying we have no respect, that we’re disgusting! When we offered to replace the bread it just angered him more. Weeks went on and he would do weird shit like take the TV remote and hide it in his room so we couldn’t use it. I came home from uni one day and he was ASLEEP in my sister’s BED. I asked him what the fuck he was doing and he said that her bed was comfier. He stole socks from my BEDROOM. He would often snoop through our shit when we were out

“It all came to an explosive end one night when he started screaming at my sister for the following reasons: that none of us offered to do his laundry, that nobody comforted him when he cried himself to sleep at night, and that nobody cared about him. He told us we had a month to move out, honestly, it was the best thing we ever did.” – Anon

9. The horny housemates

“My housemates shared the bedroom right by the front door. They used to have sex every day with their bedroom door open, as we walked in and out of the house, with full view. They were really open people, I guess?” – Anon

10. The absolute weirdo

“When I was 18 I moved into a cabin with my best friend and the landlord’s son. He was super nerdy and didn’t really know how to act around girls. As we all became friends he got weirder though. He never learned how to wipe his ass (he was in his early twenties so my friend took one for the team and showed him how). After he learned, he had a finger slip through the paper, so he had shit on a couple of his fingers. He then chased my friend around the house and eventually outside. She ran down the road and didn’t come back for like 20 minutes. He tried to chase me after that… I grabbed a plastic strainer to keep him at bay and ended up breaking it on him.

In the end, we found out he hadn’t been paying the electricity bill and he had been using our money for video games. Our electricity got shut off and the total due was over $500 and we couldn’t pay it. We all had to move.” – Theia

11. The compulsive liar

“One girl was so, so strange and a compulsive liar. She claimed she’d stopped terrorists from blowing up the cathedral?!” – Pixie

12. The fake student

“My roommate at uni pretended to be a student and wasn’t! She was supposed to transfer to our university with her best friend but didn’t make the grades and decided that wouldn’t stop her. So she just bought a backpack and would go to the library and lurk around campus.” – Natalie