Just A Reminder: There’s No Wrong Way To Do ‘Me Time’
Queensland Government have some great tips and ideas on their Mental Wellbeing website to help you get started, just search ‘Dear Mind’.
Me-time can be hard to find when we’re trying to juggle work, a social life, and other commitments. But it’s important to remember that there’s no wrong way to do ‘me time’ and that taking time for ourselves is one of the best things we can do for our mental wellbeing.
If you’re feeling flat, drained, or stressed (you’re not alone) it’s important to take some time for yourself. No matter how you’re feeling at the moment, future you will thank you for giving yourself some time off.
So we spoke to psychologist Dr Tim Sharp – otherwise known as “Dr Happy” and the founder of The Happiness Institute – about the best ways to look after ourselves, why ‘me time’ is so important, and why we should never feel bad for taking it.
Image courtesy of Queensland Government
What Exactly Is ‘Me Time’?
‘Me time’ is different for everyone. One person could book an expensive spa date and say they’re “treating themselves to some me time” while someone else might cook themselves dinner and start their favourite show for the 51st time. Dr Sharp says the real definition is simple.
‘Me time’, he says, is anything that has a positive effect on your physical and mental health and wellbeing. “It could be prioritising exercise, meditation, reading, or a hobby. It could be cooking healthy and nutritious meals or walking in nature.”
Despite the name, ‘me time’ can also involve spending time with other people. “Developing and fostering good quality relationships is probably the most useful thing we can do for our health and wellbeing,” he says.
Image: Fabiola Peñalba / Unsplash
Why Is It So Important?
“Nothing is possible without prioritising self-care,” says Dr Sharp. “It’s hard to achieve anything of significance if you’re sick and tired all the time.”
Imagine trying to pour water from an empty cup, and nothing’s coming out no matter how hard you try. ‘Me time’ works a bit like that – if we don’t look after ourselves, we won’t have any energy left for ourselves or to share with the people around us.
At the same time, our general mood will suffer, we won’t have as much energy to function at our best, and it’ll be harder to get through the tough times. That’s why it’s so important to make ‘me time’ a priority.
Image: Eye for Ebony / Unsplash
How Should You Do It?
There’s no wrong way to do ‘me time’.
Getting off the bus a few stops early and walking the rest of the way absolutely counts as ‘me time’. Just like setting aside time on the weekends to cook a big breakfast or hitting the gym every night. If it makes you happy, helps you feel re-energised, and allows you to relax your mind, it’s me-time.
No matter what you do, the important thing is doing it with the intention of being kind to yourself and looking after your mental wellbeing. Walking home because the bus broke down won’t have quite the same benefit on your mental wellbeing as walking home because exercise makes you feel good and gives you a chance to clear you mind. So it’s important to find things that you enjoy doing. This will also mean you’re more likely to make ‘me-time’ a regular priority.
And if taking time off makes you feel bad?
“Most people who don’t make ‘me time’ think they’re doing the right thing; they think other things or other people are more important,” says Dr Sharp. But ‘me time’ “creates the energy to do what you want and need to do in life, including doing good for others.”
Image: Clem Onojeghuo / Unsplash
What To Do When Your Friends Don’t Understand
It can be really hard if your idea of ‘me time’ isn’t the same as the people around you. Dr Sharp says that if you’re struggling to tell people you need some time off, you’ve got to try and communicate what you need “politely, diplomatically, but firmly”.
“They’ll understand … and care that you care about you. More often than not, if you clearly explain what you’re trying to do and why you need to do it then that should be sufficient.”
“If they don’t [understand], they’re either not real friends or it’s their problem – not yours.”
Image: Chewy / Unsplash
And If You’re Still Struggling?
Even self-care wizards will struggle to make time for themselves sometimes. The best thing you can do then, says Dr Sharp, is “make it a priority”.
“I’m pretty sure you brush your teeth twice each day because you know it’s important,” he says. “What if you were to prioritise sleep or meditation, exercise or walking, or time spent pursuing social and recreational activities in the same way?”
Even taking just a few minutes each day to focus on your mental wellbeing will make a noticeable difference in your life. Here’s a list of everyday mental wellbeing activities and ideas to get you started – from little things like getting a bit of sunlight or listening to a podcast, to more long-term goals like taking up a new hobby.
“Hopefully, with all that’s happened in 2020, more people will recognise what’s really important: health and wellness, quiet time, friendships, and relationships. If so, then that can only be a good thing for all of us.”
This article originally appeared on Junkee.
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For more information and some inspiring ideas to improve your mental wellbeing with a little me-time, head to qld.gov.au/mentalwellbeing
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(Lead image: MIN HIUS / Unsplash)