Punkee Tries: I Got The ‘JLo Facial’ To See If I, Too, Could Glow That Much

Celebrities have phenomenal skin. It’s practically a default setting for them, probably thanks to the team of experts working on their aesthetics around the clock. But if there is one celeb that oozes ‘good skin energy’ it’s Jennifer Lopez. 

I mean, sometimes, she is literally shimmering. And she knows it – kinda making ‘good skin’ her thing and building a beauty empire around it to prove the point. 

So when I was offered the chance to try the JLo facial, you can bet I jumped on that at breakneck speed. And because I know you also want to see whether the Jennifer Lopez look can be bottled and slathered on your skin, I’ve documented the whole thing for you with multiple embarrassing photos of my face. 

What I looked like before.

There’s nothing that fills me with more dread than being a ‘before’ photo on the internet, but here we are! Here’s my face moments before the treatment. 

I’ve got the dreggies of McoBeauty Flawless Glow and the remnants of some concealer on – all of which I applied seven hours before. So, minimal makeup and my chosen lighting venue was the Clear Skin Clinic bathroom. Cute. 

What happens during HydraFacial with JLo Booster treatment?

So, a classic HydraFacial involves three steps: cleanse and peel, extract and hydrate, fuse and protect. And when you chuck in the JLo Booster then you get an extra whack of glowy hydration somewhere in the middle where they blast your face with the famous goo.

And I really mean blast… The treatment involves a device that kinda looks like a big pen but at the end of it is a vacuum/blower bit that sucks and blows liquid onto your face. For the girlies that know, it kinda feels like an intense clit sucker working in tandem with a jet washer. 

This mechanism allows the fancy serums to be shot into your skin so you can absorb all their goodness and soak up the benefits. It doesn’t feel particularly relaxing… but it also doesn’t hurt, so I’d say that’s a win on the scale of beauty treatments. At least, I think it is, because I’ve never actually had a clinical facial before, so I’m not really sure what to expect with this whole situation.

The skin therapist starts by double cleansing my face with a cream first and then a more gel-like cleanser til my face is squeaky clean. 

Please note my adorable little hair net, adding to the *chic* angle. Image credit: Supplied.

Then the hardcore stuff begins. 

The clit-sucker-water-blaster-pen is switched on and is sucking and gushing what feels like just water onto my face, but then when the skin therapist moves the pen away there’s a residual goo on my skin that she rubs in with her hand. I ask her what’s in this and she says this is the ‘peel’ part of the treatment that she gets into my skin and then removes afterwards and this gives a deeper clean. 

The clit-sucker-water-blaster-pen in action. Image credit: Supplied.

Next up is the extraction phase. 

The same clit-sucker-water-blaster-pen is used, but this time is doing more sucking – specifically out of my grotty little pores. The pen is moved over every inch of my face slowly with a firm push, pulling out any dirt from my skin and yanking it into a vat which the skin therapist then shows me. 

Now, I am one for pimple-popping videos, so I was expecting gunk. But instead, it was just a tube of murky water. Disappointing. 

Behold, my gunk. Image credit: Supplied.

If I’m being honest, the next step felt very much like the first pen-related one, but this time it was with JLo’s very special booster. I asked what exactly was in this formulation and while the details were a little vague, buzzwords like ‘hydrating’ and ‘vitamin C’ and ‘glow’ were chucked around and so my pea brain uttered the response, “Ooh lovely”.

I will admit it smelt divine. Maybe this is what JLo smells like? If I did, I’d bottle that stank too. 

To help make sure all the Jennifer-ness was well and truly in my skin, a round of red LED light is required. Now I’ve never had an LED light treatment done, but I actually enjoyed the process – it was warming and a touch trippy and went on for just long enough that I think I may have had a micro nap. 

Finally, there was one last round with the clit-sucker-water-blaster-pen, and I was done! Rather than wiping any of it off with a nice hot towel, I instead had to let the goos marinade to get the full effect, so I exited the clinic looking a little damp. But I felt confident that with every soggy moment endured, I was looking more and more like JLo.

Here’s how I looked fresh outta the treatment:

Tasting notes: Shiny, hydrated, FRESH. Image credit: Supplied.

The skin therapist let me know that while I already looked better (thanks doll), I would really see the results the next day. And to make sure I didn’t mess with anything in that window, so zero skincare, makeup or excessive sweating for me.

The next morning I woke up ready and raring to see Jennifer Lopez staring back at me in the mirror. 

Look, while she wasn’t exactly present in my big reveal, I will say that I looked pretty damn good! My skin was definitely brighter, plumper and more evenly toned. Did I look like the Grammy award-winning artist I’d been promised? No. But I felt like a cuter version of non-famous me.

Here’s a side-by-side of the desired after and Katie From The Block:

No, these are not the same photo twice. Image credit: @jlo Instagram and supplied.

The verdict.

I am actually stoked with these results! I confidently waltz into work the next day without a stitch of makeup on, feeling fresh and lapping up the positive feedback from my colleagues. Did they know that I’d gone for this facial and was likely fishing for compliments? Absolutely. Did that take away from the ego boost? NOPE.

My skin certainly feels like it’s been cleaned deeply – much less grot in my pores around my nose in particular – and my face feels full. I know that sounds odd, but it’s like I can tell my skin has been stuffed with goodness and it’s all plump and jolly because of that. 

A happy little glowworm on the bus. Image credit: Supplied.

While it’s easy for me to say I’d definitely do it again, as I didn’t have to pay for the first treatment, I will flag that the JLO BEAUTY HydraFacial usually costs $319… and that’s a lot of money. Do I feel $319 fresher? I think I do. Would I book back in for monthly treatments? I think my bank account might block me from that, but I would book in for another one-off ahead of a big event or holiday so I could feel like my best Jenny From The Block self. 

The rating. 

As my first clinical facial (so not having much to compare it to) and factoring the celebrity bonus point into the mix, I’d feel happy giving this facial a solid 8/10. Feels great, with instant results and a big afterglow but just a little spenny to give it full marks. 

Image credit: Getty + Punkee.