Just Hear Me Out: Chocolate Crackles Are The Ultimate Snack & I Won’t Be Told Otherwise

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“Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!”

There is no snack that takes me straight back to a simpler time (“primary school”) like a Chocolate Crackle.

As soon as I crunch through the layers of Coco Pops and chocolatey goodness, I’m immediately transported to recesses spent lining up at a cake stalls or the local school fair; back to days when the most stressful thing in my life was keeping my Tamagotchi alive or nailing the dance moves of the latest Spice Girls banger.

 

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Some might say that other cup-sized treats sold at cake stalls, like Honey Joys, are equally good. I would argue that Honey Joys are basic and pairing cornflakes with honey already exists in delicious Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. Thank you, next. Lemon Slices? Umm, I’ll pass. Gingerbread? I’d rather be GINGER-DEAD!

Then there’s the divisive Chocolate Spider, those devious little parcels of pain. Some (wrong, incorrect, and bad) people might argue that the Chocolate Spider is better than the Chocolate Crackle. To them I ask: Have you actually eaten one and lived to tell the tale? Unlike the superior Chocolate Crackle, which are delightfully soft but crunchy, spiders are made of spiky uncooked noodles. They jab into the sides of your mouth as you chew, and you take your life into your own hands with every bite.

 

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In the Chocolate Crackle vs Chocolate Spider war, you need to ask yourself: what do you want from a sweet treat? Crunch, comfort, and choccy flavour? Or prongs of torture? I know the team I want to be on.

Nothing even compares to the humble Chocolate Crackle. My fave part about these nostalgic treats is that they’re something I can actually make. I am no Nigella Lawson. In fact, I once almost started a small fire in my kitchen when attempting to cook brownies. But even the most basic of people (that’s me! Hello!) can whip up Chocolate Crackles – all you need to do is grab a box of Coco Pops, mix up the ingredients and refrigerate. No oven necessary – what a gift!

Plus, they are such a perfect size you can carry one in your handbag at all times. Which is something I’ve heard people do. Not me though. A Chocolate Crackle definitely hasn’t rolled out of my bag in a PT session, leaving me screaming at my trainer, Nate: ‘WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! HAHA! MYSTERY!’

 

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And I get that they’re supposed to be a treat, but you can straight-up eat them for every meal. Breakfast? Well, it’s Coco Pops, so that’s just a given. Afternoon snack? Hell yeah, one bite into those little crunchy bois and my whole day is transformed. They even work as an easy, no-frills dessert. It would be rude not to.

It came as a shock to me to learn that Chocolate Crackles originated in Australia, which tbh makes me feel sad for the rest of the world, who are clearly missing out. How did they even get through primary school without the comfort of these Coco Pops treats? I truly can’t relate.

Australia has created some legit national treasures over the years: the shoey, Timomatic, the Nutbush, Matt Preston’s suits – the list goes on – and Chocolate Crackles can sit happily beside these Aussie icons. I really think they should be on their own coin.

Okay, rant over. I need to go eat a Chocolate Crackle immediately. Good thing there’s one in my handbag.

“Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!”