love island australia Matthew Zukowski

We Need To Talk About Matt From ‘Love Island’ Because He Should Be Scientifically Studied

Tell us you love Punkee without telling us you love Punkee. Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. It'll mean the world.

This season of Love Island might be almost over, but first I need to declare my undying love for Matthew Zukowski.

At first, I thought Matt was just a bit of a goof. He was often paired up with Eoghan and together they were just a couple of gronks. All they seemed to do is talk about was how they were God’s gift to women. When he wasn’t bro-ing out, he was with Vanessa and crying.

Oh yeah, the guy cries a lot. Bless him and his ugly cry face.

But with Vanessa and Eoghan leaving the villa, a new Matt was born and I’m kind of in love with him.

We all sympathised as he struggled to stay in a relationship. Big same. He was dumped by Jordan and then Isabelle, but after supporting Cartier through her breakup with Adam, the two of them got together and are surprisingly cute AF.

I can’t help but stan Matt, while acknowledging he should probably be scientifically studied.

Here are all the ways Matt is one of the weirdest (but most loveable) Love Island contestants ever:

#1. He has a beautiful way with words

I love how he can seamlessly insert the word “cojones” into any sentence. What a skill.

#2. Although he doesn’t always make sense

He takes a lot of cues from fellow male model: Derek Zoolander.

#3. He gets weirdly aroused by his own sand boobs

I have no words.

#4. But he’s always the most entertaining islander in the villa

The camera simply loves him.

#5. And he gives the best reaction faces

I’m keeping some of these on constant rotation.

#6. He can be overdramatic and extra to no end

A relatable mood.

#7. And rather sensitive to any criticism

He can dish it out but never take it, and I respect that.

#8. He doesn’t quite know how to talk his way out of something

Matt trying to convince Vanessa that he didn’t lie was a hilarious comedy of errors.

#9. He knows his exact number of sexual partners which is impressive

Along with the fact he owns 97 button-up shirts.

#10. He has no clue how to work a mosquito net

Instead, he chose to walk around the villa like some jungle ghost.

#11. He compared Cartier’s faith to professional wrestling

When asked if he would attend church with Cartier, Matt said, “That’s like asking her to come to every one of my wrestling shows!” IS IT THO?

#12. He likes to practice kissing on palm trees

We’ve all been there.

#13. His longest Love Island relationship was with a pillow

I can personally vouch for my body pillow, which is the greatest spooner on earth.

#14. He has constantly struggled to seduce women in the villa

He always tries his best.

#15. He is painfully awkward which somehow makes him charming

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

–

Seriously, while I’m rooting for Cynthia and Aaron in the Love Island finale, I wouldn’t be mad if Cartier and Matt slide on through and take out the top prize.