I Watched The US Version Of ‘Love Island’ & It Was A Steaming Pile Of Garbage
As we near the end of this season of Love Island, I must admit it’s been an incredible few weeks of reality TV.
While last year, I may have wrote that the Aussie series was nowhere near as good as the UK series, the 2019 season is making me eat my words.
So far, I’m loving the mix of contestants and was impressed to see that the villains all left relatively early. The series is getting better every year and is almost as good as the UK’s, which continues to create the most dramatic reality TV ever.
In my downtime between the UK season ending and our version beginning, I decided to watch the first Love Island US season (reality TV is my life, let me live!). I was intrigued over how Americans would interpret the show — a series that is deeply British at its heart.
And oh boy, what a mess. The series might share its name with the UK and Aussie series but it’s a vastly different show.
Here’s Why Love Island US Can Never Compare To The Original:
#1. The People Are Basic
No offence but it’s true. The US producers cast some extremely boring people. The guys are all macho and dull, while the girls are slightly more entertaining but ultimately they failed to get the right mix. It seriously felt like a frat house and I’m not here to watch that.
#2. The Dates Are Too Fancy
Another tradition they failed to grasp: their dates are too fancy. We would NEVER see a helicopter ride on the Aussie or UK version. The couples would be lucky to get a picnic blanket and a bottle of Passion Pop. It all adds to the humour, and the American season is totally missing the point.
#3. Where Is The Villa Cat?
Okay, this might just be on the Aussie series, but you NEED to have a villa cat! It’s one of my favourite parts of the whole season. All the US had was this frog and he’s not half as sassy.
#4. The Narrator Sucks
There’s one element of the US adaption which is straight-up criminal and that’s the American narrator. One thing we take for granted when watching the local and UK version is the voice steering the ship: in the UK they have Scottish lad Iain Stirling, while we have Irishman Eoghan McDermott.
The narrator’s witty and hilarious commentary really makes the show what it is and sets the series apart from all the reality shows that have come before it. So it really affects the show when the narrator is deeply unfunny and cringey like Matthew Hoffman on Love Island US. Sorry not sorry.
This narrator is so dry. Someone get Iain Stirling on a flight please. #LoveIslandUSA pic.twitter.com/qIDAXwsZeU
— Britney Kelai✨? (@_Britkizzlee) July 10, 2019
i’m just waiting for the narrator to be funny……. #LoveIslandUSA pic.twitter.com/5OATiPzVH5
— JOANNA (@Jobazzle) July 10, 2019
The narrator for #LoveIslandUSA sucks. Not even funny pic.twitter.com/zML4Py1sPQ
— Em (@emmahtho) July 10, 2019
Here’s a sample if you don’t believe me:
#LoveIslandUSA
THE NARRATOR IS AS SALTY AS US pic.twitter.com/edBfzY2K4a— thalia (@bibbydiaries) July 19, 2019
It’s just NOT RIGHT. Ugh.
It’s not the humour that this show is all about. What Iain and Eoghan do is make light of what is going on, adding clever comments along the way that often pokes fun at themselves rather than the contestants. The US narrator is just sarcastic, mean and most importantly: not funny. Viewers have even called for the narrator to be replaced with Iain. Hard agree.
#5. It’s Just ~Too~ American
This might not seem like valid criticism but it is. If you’ve been a lifelong fan of the series you’ll know it’s a bloody British institution. It just doesn’t seem to translate.
#6. They Don’t Have Sophie Monk As Host
I do love me some Caroline Flack but no one can compare to The Monk.
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Against all odds and disappointing ratings, the American adaption of Love Island will come back for a second season but I doubt I can bring myself to watch.