We Rated The ‘Love Triangle’ Singles Based On Their Chaotic First Impressions

Is three really a crowd? This is one of the questions that the Stan Original Dating Series Love Triangle seeks to answer.

The new reality show from the producers of Married At First Sight will feature eight episodes introducing six singles as they embark on a groundbreaking dating journey. The series will see our dating hopefuls pick someone to move in with based purely on speaking virtually to two matches via phone calls and texting.

After three days of chatting, they have to choose who to start an irl relationship with. Mad respect, I can’t even commit to choosing a variety of soft cheese at the supermarket.

Once our singles make their selections, they go on a blind date and this is where the drama comes in: are they immediately attracted to each other, and if not, how do they overcome that?

After the newly formed couples move in together, they attend some drama-filled dinner parties with fellow couples, before they need to contend with a mind-blowing twist that will rock the couples to their cores. Spicy! So who are the six singles about occupy our minds and hearts? We’ve watched the first two hectic episodes and made some swift judgments from what we saw.

Heads up: This article contains minor spoilers from the first two episodes which are currently streaming on Stan. 

We rated the singles in Love Triangle based on their chaotic first impressions:

Lisa

WA, 32, Accounts Payable

Lisa is a woman after my own heart and by far, the horniest single in the mix. We simply have to stan. This 32-year-old Perthie has been single for ten years, with her last serious relationship ending when she was 23. Lisa is looking for a man who shares her relationship goals: children and marriage. “Put some sperm in me and knock me up,” she instructs. I’m afraid!

We love a woman with a high standards. I’d be happy with a man who shares my goals of watching reality TV and making cat memes.

Lisa also seeks a partner who shares her values and is a good communicator, plus they must have an insatiable sex drive. Lisa spends most of the first episode sexting one of her matches, skipping the small talk and jumping straight into the hot and steamy stuff. She starts a convo by asking “Are you ready to go balls deep in this experience?” which is a pick-up line I’m ready to work into my dating routine.

She dives all in on one match she was sexting, calling him, and asking him to join her on this wacky Love Triangle journey. She tells him “The stars have aligned and I would love to move in with you next week”, which is coincidentally what I asked my UberEats driver last night when he gave me a free can of coke.

Most likely to: Triple text after the first date.

Alex

VIC, 31, Technology Specialist

Alex is my favourite man on this show, mostly because he is super handsome but seems to have no idea. He obviously doesn’t own any mirrors or have a phone with a front-facing camera. A man of mystery, I respect it!

He refers to himself as a “serial monogamist” which sounds vaguely threatening, but he clarifies that he’s been in relationships since he was 16, with his longest lasting 10 years. He was recently married and after allowing himself time to heal, he’s ready to find love again.

Alex is eager to please, but possibly unaware of red flags. When one match sends him almost 10 consecutive messages, he somehow is not scared off. After meeting a match, he tells her “I didn’t expect you to be so beautiful,” and he can’t wipe the smile off his face. Alex has already fallen hard, describing meeting her as a “lightning bolt moment”. Slow down my man, don’t set the wedding date just yet!

All shade aside, Alex just appears to be a super kind, patient, and loving man — what a concept!

Most likely to: Apologise after getting hit by a bus.

Ly

VIC, 28, Counsellor

Ly is a ray of bloody sunshine. She’s Australian-Vietnamese, the youngest of five girls, and says she finds it tough to juggle her family’s traditional values within the modern dating world. Ly reveals she typically dates Asian men due to their cultural similarities, but also admitted that she fears non-Asian men don’t find her attractive. Ly wants to break her pattern of only dating Asian men so when she suspects one of her matches is Vietnamese, she’s immediately turned off.

When it came down to Ly selecting her date, she calls one suitor but he doesn’t pick up — he later texts that he was in the bathroom. Growing impatient, Ly flips and decides to pick the other guy. I’m howling at the idea that one guy only got picked ‘cos the other was on the dunny.

“I was probably going to pick him but he didn’t pick up,” she says afterwards. She seems a tad impulsive to me, explaining she thinks the universe played a part in the first man not answering, when I suspect it was more likely just typical bowel movements.

When Ly meets her match, she remarks “He wasn’t too crazily tall,” which is the nicest way to call a man short. She tells her new love match, “Oh my God, you have orange hair,” like he didn’t know.

Ly is a true gem who should be protected at all costs.

Most likely to: Order Macca’s at 3am after a night out but fall asleep before it arrives.

Madi

VIC, 30, Events Manager

Madi is a career-focused outgoing gal who is typically the life of the party, but she’s often left sad when she
goes home alone. She says she is looking for her “partner in crime”, but then shouts “cringe!” hating herself for saying it.

I’m already in love with this woman.

Prior to being single, she dated someone for seven years but he cheated on her repeatedly. “I’ve never been taken for the fool, I think that’s what hurt me the most,” she reflected. Her biggest fear is getting too close to someone and them breaking her heart. A relatable queen.

While she hasn’t been super active in the dating scene recently, she’s damn good at spotting red flags. In a texting convo with a match, she was triggered when he started bagging his ex and calling her a “psycho”. She told him straight-up that it was a red flag to be disrespectful about his exes and omg, icon behaviour!

When Madi meets her match, sparks fly! She forgets how to leave a date and keeps walking in his direction. Madi is me in the presence of any man who is tall and has all his teeth.

Most likely to: Stalk her friend’s Tinder match to do a background check.

Kyle

QLD, 30, Electrician

Kyle is a down-to-earth tradie from Townsville who struggles adapting to modern dating. While he was in a long-term relationship throughout his 20s, he became single just as his friends started to settle down, leaving Kyle to feel left behind.

Sadly, Kyle lacks confidence in the dating app scene. “I think Tinder is just people seeking hookups, then you’ve got Bumble and the girl has to message you first and that rarely happens,” Kyle revealed. He suffered bullying at school which still affects his self-esteem today. “I still feel like that little kid even though I’m 6’2 and really into health and fitness,” he admitted.

Kyle reckons he doesn’t get much attention on dating apps and rates himself a modest 5/10. How dare you.

Since the Townsvillean is super into fitness, when he meets a match they discuss calories and exercise regimes over drinks. This is literally my worst nightmare, but I’m happy they found each other.

Kyle is a goddamn superstar who deserves to find love.

Most likely to: Describe anything that isn’t a protein shake as a “cheat meal”.

Yannick

NSW, 32, Sports Lawyer

Yannick is Australia-born with Sri Lankan, Portuguese and French background, and has been single for the past year. Yannick is charming, ambitious and confident. Don’t believe me? Just ask him. He is looking for partner who is “as awesome” as him, desiring a woman who can ‘put him in his place’.

I don’t know what place he’s referring to but hopefully it’s far away from me. Just kidding! I love Yannick. I really do.

“I definitely rely on my looks. I know what I look like, I get to look at myself every day in the mirror,” he grins. Congrats! Yannick continues, “My friends refer to me as the walking Tinder because I can pick up anywhere.”

Lord, give me a shred of this man’s confidence.

Yannick describes himself as “6’4 not including the fro and 7 foot if you include the ego.” You can’t say this man isn’t self-aware. He’s also an efficient king, sending the same message to both his matches. I could call this lazy, but I can’t judge since I famously send all my matches the same “hello my future husband”. Oddly enough, I don’t get many replies.

Most likely to: Suggest doing a round of shots on a first date.

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The Stan Original Dating Series Love Triangle drops two episodes on October 6, with new episodes released every Thursday.