Malcolm In The Middle: Crowdfunding Page Started To Buy PM A Spine

Malcolm Turnbull isn’t the most popular head of state right now.

Monday night, nationwide rallies were called as concerned citizens and LGBTI advocates protested the federal government’s overhaul of the LGBT anti-bullying Safe School Program.

The rallies were called in reaction to Prime Minister Turnbull denouncing his previous support for the program – that was wholly endorsed by a recent review. Turnbull has put forward program-endangering revisions, assumedly pandering to the opinion of some of the more outspoken right-winged MP’s.

One of the most alarming changes is that parental consent now needs to be granted for student participation in the program – potentially having the impact of outing LGBT teens in the process and preventing participation due to unsupportive families. It was also said that the entire Safe School’s anti-bullying program is not guaranteed funding as of 2017.

This is the little program that works to reduce stigma and prejudice against LGBT kids, you know, to address the ridonk-ulously disproportionate levels of anxiety, depression and suicide among this demographic. No biggie.

Those angered by the overhaul include the Australian Progressives, that have created a Pozible crowdfunding page to ‘Buy Malcolm A Spine’.

“STAND UP AGAINST BULLYING! HELP US BUY MALCOLM A SPINE!” says the webpage.

“Poor Malcolm! He’s gone all droopy because the school-yard bullies Cory, George and Eric have stolen his backbone.

Don’t put up with this bullying. Help us crowd-fund Malcolm a spine! Put your hands in your pockets and help our poor PM stand erect again!”

The proceeds raised from the campaign will go to the Safe Schools Coalition, so: “they can go back to the plan they had before that other Coalition gutted it.”

“With all the stiffness needed to maintain a stance but all the flexibility required for a political back-flip, and made of only the best refined petroleum products, we feel this is a fine choice of backbone for a floppy PM. It’s gotta be better than no spine, right? And we can’t wait for the photos of us presenting it to him personally.”

It might sound like a silly campaign but it’s a damn good cause. For more information visit the Pozible page.