08 Apr 2019

25 Things That Happened On The Very Last Episode Of ‘Married At First Sight’

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Holy shit you guys, we’ve made it! We made it to the end of this year’s Married At First Sight.

From weddings to dramatic affairs, toasting pizza to dinner parties, we’ve finally reached the end of this season. 41 episodes down, and barely a shred of sanity left for anyone involved.

Now before we all book ourselves in for a wellness retreat and a social media detox, in case you missed the finale or if you gave up watching halfway through we’ve got a summary of what exactly went down on tonight’s episode.

Swig the last dregs of wine, because here’s the most important moments from the Married At First Sight finale.

1. King Ding-A-Ling did not attend

Image result for cyrell nic gif married at first sight

Probably too busy trying desperately to grow his beard back.

2. The “I’m not your therapist” conversation aired for everyone

3. Heidi said she moved to the Gold Coast immediately to be with Mike but things quickly turned

“I kind of lost myself in the experiment. I came in one person and left a different person. As much as I loved this man we were not bringing out the best in each other,” she explained.

4. Mike said he was still in love with Heidi but then Heidi dropped that she was no longer in love with him… and well, thank god.

Image result for britney spears dump him shirt

5. Even after witnessing their turmoil, expert Mel decided to ask if there was a chance the two would reconcile

HEIDI: I don’t love Mike anymore#MAFS EXPERT: I see. Are you sure you don’t want to reconcile?

HEIDI: Uh, I blatantly said I don’t love him, so…

EXPERT: Sounds like the door is still slightly ajar

HEIDI: wtf

— Jake Watt (@JakeChatty) April 8, 2019

Ugh, this is why we do NOT trust the experts!

6. Nic and Cyrell’s turn on the couch was just a journey of Cyrell’s iconic moments

But we also learned that the two were officially friend-zoned, as now Nic sends Cyrell “fart videos.”

7. And Martha made this face when Cyrell said she was proud of herself and her time on the show

8. Lizzie finally saw the footage of Sam body-shaming her and gave an epic speech in response

“You judge me by my appearance, that I’m a larger girl. So what, is he setting the tone for all women out there? You’re not worthy enough if you’re not a size six or below. I am appalled that he felt so free to comment on a woman’s weight. That to me is despicable and disgusting. As women, it’s a hard enough time in this life. We get so much thrown at us. We have men sitting there saying you have to be this way, you have to look this way, otherwise, you know, I don’t want a bar of it. Are you absolutely out of your mind? Why are you trying to belittle me, making up stories, to tell the boys?”

9. Then for some reason Mike jumped in to defend Sam

10. So Ines jumped in to defend Lizzie

“Are you hearing yourself?” she asked Mike with so much disdain that I could feel it seeping through my TV. It was amazing.

11. We were forced to watch the Sam and Ines affair unravel again

12. Then Ines joined Lizzie on the couch to explain her side of the affair

She said Sam told her they’d make it work outside of the experiment, and she had such strong feelings for him that she decided to see the best in him.

13. Ines then dropped the truth about Sam and his antics and got quite upset

“He was very good at making you feel like you’re the shit person,” Ines said. “I’m not saying I’m perfect, I’m heavily flawed. I’ve gone through life fending for myself so it’s really hard for me to open up to a man. So when you have someone, when you find someone and you can be so open and vulnerable with them, obviously you guys didn’t see what we were like behind closed doors or what our personal communications were like, it’s just devastating.”

14. Ines apologised to Bronson and she and Lizzie both left with a newfound respect for each other

Look, I don’t think they’ll be catching up over a wine any time soon, but it’s progress.

15. And after everything unravelled, our fave parents Jules and Cam were still reeling in shock about Sam manipulating everyone

Ugh, cancel Sam 2019.

16. Next up, expert Mel grilled the women on what happened to the “sisterhood”

Mel, Trisha, no offense, where was the sisterhood when Mike was gaslighting Heidi? Hello?

17. Mel asked the ladies if they’d learned anything from all of this and Ines just stated she had “three friends” so like… you know?

No, I don’t understand. And neither does Mark.

18. Jess and Martha tried to say it was the age barrier that caused the divide between the women

“It’s everything, it’s Instagram, it’s social media, we are in different worlds, we are programmed differently,” Martha stated. Martha, hon, that’s not… how it works. Let’s just say there’s a huge difference between being self-absorbed and being self-aware.

19. Then superman Mike swooped in to say he thinks women and men just handle things differently… men handle things better! Duh!

married at first sight finale

“I think groups of women under pressure don’t cope as well as groups of men under pressure” he said smugly. “There are differences between men and women, don’t mistake that.”

Yeah, Mike, the difference is women wouldn’t feel the need to act like such a self-titled wank. MOVING ON.

20. We learn Jess & Dan haven’t actually physically seen each other since final vows

Therefore Jess hasn’t met Dan’s son.

21. The footage of Jess hitting on Nic was revealed to everyone

And while Nic tried to avoid saying Jess was hitting on him, the room yelled at him until he admitted it. Something suss there tbh and I can’t figure out what.