Meet All The Couples Who Got Married On This Week’s ‘MAFS’
Week one of Married At First Sight is nearly done and dusted and we’ve seen six new couples tie the knot and promise to love and stand by each other for as long as they both shall live… or at least, for the next couple of months.
As more slightly delusional people put their “faith” in the social experiment of marrying a complete stranger, the experts who set them up did the usual tests to make sure they were well-matched: they put polar opposites together, made people sniff shirts in a mock science lab, and dutifully ignored the plate of macarons in front of them while they pretended to be excited and hopeful about the six new couples working out.
If you haven’t watched every single episode 2-3 times each (why?! get your priorities sorted!) then we’ve compiled a list of the couples who got married this week so you’ll be up to date by the time the real drama rolls around – honestly, can we just start the dinner parties already?
Here are all the couples who got married on week one of Married At First Sight:
1. Josh & Cathy
STREWTH! Josh and Cathy were married on premiere night and we can only imagine how beautiful their kids will be. They both also mentioned pies in conversation before they even met each other, so it’s basically fate.
Josh is a laidback coastie larrikin who blames his partying life for his last relationship demise, while Cathy has been cheated on in the past and values loyalty and commitment over anything else.
Trish also gleefully added that both Cathy and Josh just LOVED the smell of each other’s shirts. So if it doesn’t work out then we’re all screwed and I’ll need to stop going out and sniffing men at the pub across the road from work.
Chances of working out: We’re feeling hopeful about these two. Based on first impressions and their obvious chemistry, we’re giving it 8/10.
2. Poppy & Luke
Poppy won us all over when she described her first husband’s terrible accident – he tripped and landed in his coworkers vagina and it appears he’s still stuck there.
Australian TV is everything when I tell you I wasn’t expecting that.
I screameddd ??? pic.twitter.com/bU9H5uKrxX
— sabrina (@legendarihh) February 4, 2020
The mother of two twin toddlers who she jokingly called “cock and block”, Poppy was matched with single dad Luke who has two older kids. Luke’s a gentle giant FIFO worker and it seemed like it could be a match made in heaven…
Yet, Poppy had a bit of a freakout about missing her boys and it’s yet to be seen if the couple can rebuild. Slow and steady can sometimes win the MAFS race (if there are any real winners, that is) and when in doubt, pour the Bourbon out.
Chances of working out: Poppy doesn’t seem ready to be absent from her sons and Luke’s patience may wear thin but if they can sort out their emotions, they could make it work – 5/10.
3. Mikey & Natasha
What happens when you pair two successful and rich North Shore people together? You question how tf they didn’t find each other at some s(wanky) pub earlier. But as self-professed alpha female Natasha stated, she normally goes for older men and it hasn’t served her well in the past.
Her new husband Mikey comes from a well-off background and runs the family retirement home but struggles with awkwardness around women. He swears he’s an alpha male, in fact, normally he ALWAYS has “the leads” but for now he seems happy for Natasha to take “the leads”.
Chances of working out: While Natasha seems to be pleasantly surprised by someone under the age of 40, Mikey seems hesitant about Natasha being “high maintenance”. Therefore they’re sitting around a 4/10.
4. Amanda & Tash
The show was pretty damn chuffed about airing the first lesbian wedding since same-sex marriage was legalised in Australia and things started out very promising with strength coach Amanda and bartender/”vampire” Tash. Even Tash’s evil stepsister best friends couldn’t put a dampener on their early love.
Reports have already started circulating though that these two are rocky AF and turned out to be wildly incompatible. Somewhere out there Tash’s friends are gleefully patting each other on the back for being right. They’re connection people after all.
Chances of working out: Not a chance in hell. 1/10.
5. Chris & Vanessa
If Vanessa seems like a slightly familiar face, it’s because she dated Bronson Norrish who married Ines Basic in the 2019 season of MAFS. Vanessa’s grown up with a severe form of acne and was bullied a lot for it and her crushing self-esteem issues made her episode really sad to watch so I have no jokes for these two.
Vanessa: if you’re reading this, you are beautiful.
Vanessa was paired with Chris, a single dad who seems like a genuine enough guy but can’t do his own ironing apparently.
The two had an awkward wedding but we’re hoping they’re just two little slow turtles who will find their way to each other’s hearts.
Chances of working out: If Vanessa can learn to love herself and open up to Chris, the chances could be good. 7/10.
6. David & Hayley
Things were hot and heavy with David and Hayley straight away, with David’s friend rightfully pointing out that it was “a lot of personality in one relationship.” While the chemistry was apparent between the two from the get-go, we know MAFS – the couples who are packing on the PDA straight away have about a minus-10 chance of making it work.
David happily stated he was looking for a woman to “pull him into line” which is normally what men say when they don’t know how to be held accountable for their own actions. David’s conservative Christian parents also looked like they were attending a funeral, not their son’s wedding.
Given the rumours flying around about these two (the whole toilet/toothbrush saga that I am dreading watching unfold) we’re predicting it’ll pretty much explode on the honeymoon.
Chances of working out: I mean, the dude is gonna scrub the toilet with her toothbrush. We’re sitting at a -100/10.