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Just Hear Me Out: The Chocolate End Is The Best Part Of The Maxibon

Hi, my name is Tahlia and I’m in my late-twenties. In January 2020, I tried my first ever Maxibon.

You’re probably wondering how I got to this point. How did I miss out on eating Maxibons as a kid? “Your parents owned a takeaway shop for four years of your life,” you scream at me. “There were always Maxibons stocked in the ice cream freezer!”

Firstly, how do you even know that? Secondly, I can only assume I was busy eating 289 Paddle Pop thickshakes during that stage in my life.

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Yes, it is quite amazing that later in life during my three years at another place of employment where I had two coworkers absolutely obsessed with Maxibons, that I still didn’t try one. Those coworkers also enjoyed stealing forks from the office kitchen, so it could be said I didn’t trust them as people and maybe that deterred me.

I have, of course, witnessed the discourse over many years of my life as to which part of the Maxibon is better. I hear passionate debates about which end you must eat first. For what it’s worth, I’m not a psycho: I eat the chocolate part first and eat the biscuit part last.

But I’m here to say the chocolate part is actually the BEST part of the Maxibon. It’s simply a fact.

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1. Firstly, it just tastes better

It’s CHOCOLATE with little crunchy pieces then ice cream underneath, like, tell me where you could even fuck up with it? That’s right! You can’t!

2. TBH while the biscuit adds to the whole ice cream as a whole, it’s a little bland on its own

I know double biscuit Maxibons exist, I know there’s a market out there for them. But give me actual chocolate as well or give me death.

Riddle me this: let’s just take the ice cream out of the equation for a second. You’re handed a plain choc biscuit and you’re handed a piece of chocolate with some crunchy lil hazelnuts. Which one are you going to prefer? Which one stands strong on its own, not needing any other bitch to make it better?

In this case, the bitch is the ice cream an-… let’s move on.

3. For once in your life, you get to eat the BEST part first

Do you remember being a kid and for dinner you’d get some concoction of meat, veg and MAYBE some oven chips if you were lucky. So you’d eat the meat and veg as fast as you could, so you could get to the end of your meal and savour those hot chippies. There was no way you could eat all those chips first and then struggle through the rest of your meal, you had to save something good for last.

Eating a Maxibon is the one time in your life where you can just indulge in the best bit first.

Disclaimer: I am not saying the biscuit part of the Maxibon is BAD.

It’s simply not the BEST part.

I understand the overall importance of the biscuit. It maintains the structure of the ice cream, it gives you a solid grip to be able to enjoy the ice cream without it melting faster than the earth’s glaciers. This is obviously important. But while it may be important, it doesn’t mean it’s the tastiest part.

The tastiest part, my friends, is that beautiful top chocolate part that you’re most probably devouring first. Because it’s the best.

Trust me, I’ve eaten three whole Maxibons in my life and I’ll do it again if I have to.