Punkee Investigates: Does Melania Trump Use A Body Double? Probably!
This week the internet is calling out FLOTUS, Melania Trump, for allegedly using a body double and suddenly I’m very interested in US politics.
Grab some snacks, boil the kettle (tea will be spilt) and strap yourselves in because it’s conspiracy theory time, baby! *Illuminati music plays in the distance*
Does Melania Trump really use a body double?
#FakeMelania – as the theory is known on Twitter – is pretty simple. Basically, every now and then when the real Melania isn’t too keen on hitting the streets, she is replaced by an unnamed body double who stands silently by her husband’s side.
Now it makes sense that the FLOTUS wouldn’t be too keen to hang with The Donald 24/7 – it’s no secret that the two have had a rocky marriage.
Between allegations of Donald cheating on her with Stormi Daniels and, well, you know, the fact that her husband is a terrible human being, it’s not wild to suspect that Melania isn’t her man’s biggest fan. She reportedly never even wanted him to become president at all.
The theory started making its rounds on the internet when Twitter user @JoeVargas shared a video of Donald and “Melania” being interviewed by the press.
This is not Melania. To think they would go this far & try & make us think its her on TV is mind blowing. Makes me wonder what else is a lie pic.twitter.com/JhPVmXdGit
— BuyLegalMeds.com (@JoeVargas) October 18, 2017
Something seems… a little off. With those over-sized shades, the clueless expression on her face and – I’m going to say it – what looks like a fucking crusty ass WIG, you can’t tell me that lady is Melania Trump. I just won’t have it.
Don’t believe it? Check the receipts.
Let me save you some time from looking it up. It's not her. pic.twitter.com/IJjHEzWs8p
— BuyLegalMeds.com (@JoeVargas) October 18, 2017
Oh, and you best believe I’m not the only one who thinks so. Twitter users were scalped by the revelation of Melania’s body double.
And then they gave her a bad, dry, split wig 😫😭🤔
— My Brother's Keeper (@CeeCeeHarm) October 19, 2017
Crikey, I think you may be right!
Nose is wrong. Chin is wrong. Height is wrong!
His "introduction" of her is weird.
What does it all mean?
— Bart Stewart (@BartStewart1) October 19, 2017
Melania would at least have a decent lace front.
— Jocelyn Stanton (@jocelynmstanton) October 19, 2017
Clearly, the US government couldn’t have people knowing of their shady operations and, just like that, as quickly as the rumours regarding Melania entered the world, they were gone.
Assumedly, the Trump administration did what needed to be done to keep these theorists quiet, if you know what I mean.
They killed them, is what I mean…
The rumours had been buried for years, until earlier this week when Donald and the “first lady” made public appearances in both Alabama and Florida.
President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump view memorial crosses for the 23 people killed in the Alabama tornadoes. pic.twitter.com/HGs6gpxLDk
— MSNBC (@MSNBC) March 8, 2019
Something about the FLOTUS’s appearance didn’t add up. The woman standing next to the president was not Melania Trump.
GUYS THAT IS NOT MELANIA pic.twitter.com/2kfo7QMU2x
— Red™️ (@Redpainter1) March 8, 2019
I’ll go first:
•Chin Shape pic.twitter.com/vl3hDpMx3k
— MellyMed🦋 (@mel_med_larson) March 9, 2019
— •kk• (@bushwhere) March 9, 2019
Twitter user @TheMominatrixx cracked the case wide open with some simple math.
It’s bizarre that they trot out #FakeMelania, thinking no one will notice. This one’s shorter + looks nothing like her!
Melania Trump is the same height as Michelle Obama: 5’11”
Barack Obama is 6’1”; Trump *says* he’s 6’3”, but looks to be as tall as Obama
Where’s the REAL one? pic.twitter.com/3DqtT02O65
— #25theThe45th! (@TheMominatrixx) March 9, 2019
Hello, triple zero? Yes, I would like to report a crime – my wig has been snatched.
WHY IS MELANIA THE SAME HEIGHT AS BARACK? And don’t even try to tell me it has anything to do with the fucking shoes.
— Mary Fitzpatrick (@Fitzmary) March 9, 2019
Who can overlook the fact that Melania’s secret service agent looks just like her, and they even wear the same jewellery.
— Cornelia (@PaladinCornelia) March 9, 2019
I mean that’s not a coincidence. Could she be the body double? Almost certainly.
Proof that Melania does, in fact, use a body double
Here at Punkee, we like to put in hours of extensive research before calling out far-fetched conspiracies or straight-up falsities. During my research, I came across some startling evidence that is about to change everything you thought you knew about this theory.
Melania Trump was born in Novo Mesto, Slovenia.
Slovenia is 5,646km away from Russia.
Russia’s leader is Vladimir Putin.
Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are BFFs.
Donald Trump was born in 1946.
What do the numbers 1946 and 5,646 have in common? The numbers 4 and 6.
4+6 = 10.
In the year 2010, the movie How To Train Your Dragon hit cinemas.
How To Train Your Dragon was produced by DreamWorks.
DreamWorks also made Shrek.
Shrek is an ogre.
Ogres have layers.
What else has layers? Onions.
Onions make you cry.
Donald made Melania cry when he cheated with Stormi.
Cheated rhymes with defeated – how Melania feels being trapped in her troubled marriage.
What does troubled rhyme with? DOUBLED – which is exactly what Melania did to escape her living hell.
Illuminati confirmed? I think so.
I’m the First Lady, yes I’m the Real Lady
All you other First Ladies are just imitating.
So won’t the real First Lady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up? #FakeMelania pic.twitter.com/Qsqn8BR8gA
— trevor beattie (@trevorbmbagency) March 9, 2019
Despite the allegations, both the White House and the Secret Service have denied that Melania Trump uses a stand-in body double.
We have reached out to Melania Trump for comment.
What do you believe? Melania, blink twice if you need help.