A Festive Reminder That Michael Bublé Has A No-Homo Rendition Of ‘Santa Baby’
Why did Michael Bublé have to cover ‘Santa Baby’ anyway?
It’s that time of year! In the days leading up to Christmas, we know you’re having friends and family over to exchange a bunch of Secret Santa presents that you’ll treasure forever… kind of.
And in this time of many-a-celebration, it’s quite possible that you’re streaming the living crap out of Michael Bublé’s Christmas album. I mean, is there anything else we’d rather stream in December? Not at all.
But, interestingly enough, thanks to Twitter personality Dana Schwartz, I’ve been alerted to the fact that Michael Bublé’s cover of ‘Santa Baby’ is, in fact, cursed.
has there ever been a more extreme heterosexual energy than michael bublé changing “santa baby” to “santa buddy”
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) December 20, 2020
Through ‘Santa Baby,’ Michael Bublé Wants You To Know He’s Straight
For some essential context, the original version of ‘Santa Baby’ was released in 1953 by Earth Kitt and over-time has become one of the greatest Christmas songs ever. And while Michael Bublé is usually good at taking Christmas songs and elevating them, there’s something about his rendition of ‘Santa Baby’ that doesn’t sit well with us.
For starters, it’s aggressively masculine. In Michael Bublé’s cover of ‘Santa Baby,’ he refrains from following the original lyrics of the song. Instead, what we end up hearing is Michael Bublé substituting ‘Santa Baby’ for phrases like ‘Santa Buddy’ or ‘Santa Poppy’ or even, ‘Santa Pally.’ And yes, as soon as you notice it, you’ll never unhear it.
michael no one was going to think you were fucking santa
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) December 20, 2020
Aside from the array of Santa-terms of endearment, Michael Bublé also has a crack at making this song OK for ‘yeah-the-boys’ types to listen to. This means, asking for a Rolex and “a sixty-five convertible too, steel blue” – whatever the fuck this means.
Can we talk about how Michael Bublé wanted to make this song more relatable for himself so threw in some of the world’s most expensive, unattainable items? Can he not have asked for a pair of socks or something? Anyway, we digress.
“santa buddy, we’re just a couple guys being dudes”
— Max Genecov (@MaxGenecov) December 20, 2020
It turns out, people on the Internet had this revelation a few years ago, but that doesn’t stop it from being hilarious.
“hey buddy!!!” said the definitely not-gay-for-santa singer
— Molly Priddy (@mollypriddy) November 19, 2018
Can Michael Bublé please just sing Santa Baby as it was intended without any of this No Homo buddy junk, just be straight up gay for Santa like the rest of us
— Trung Lê Capecchi-Nguyễn (@Trungles) November 23, 2018
Just have a look at some of these YouTube comments.
Look, do yourself a favour and just stream Eartha Kitt’s tune this Christmas. Straight men, it doesn’t make you gay to like it, I promise.
Shout out to all the retail Christmas casuals that have to hear this song non-stop.