People Who Hate Monopoly Are Just The People Who Absolutely Suck At It

I said what I said. So, don’t come for me Monopoly haters.

As the holiday season quickly approaches, your calendar is probably filling up with a whole bunch of events with your family and friends. And, as a result, you’re likely mentally preparing for a lot of time spent playing board games. One of the most popular games to play at these types of events is Monopoly, and I already know you either really love or really hate it.

Monopoly cops a lot of flack for being a horrible board game — people say it tears apart families, people say it ends friendships. I mean, really, Monopoly has racked up more haters than a cancelled celebrity. But, I’m here to say — and I mean this in the nicest way possible — if you hate Monopoly, you’re probably just bad at it. 

I know this because I used to despise Monopoly. I literally hated it so much. The idea of going through hours and hours of mindlessly handing over money for random cards, only to make horrible deals with other players used to make my blood boil. I used to think of it as a waste of hours that I would never get back in my life. But, I am pleased to report, I have since changed my tune. 

In Reality, Monopoly Is Amazing

There was a very distinct point in my life when my hate for Monopoly flipped and suddenly, I loved the contentious board game. The cause of this change? Well, as shocking as this may sound, I simply took the time to learn the rules and subsequently, I won one game. Yep, it was that simple. 

When you know how the game actually works, and when you’ve mustered up a few strategies, suddenly you start winning. 

So, to all the people who despise Monopoly, let me just say: It doesn’t take much to understand the rules and the strategies and, believe me, the pay off will be worth it. 

Here’s Some Quick Advice

If you’re not bothered to spend an hour on YouTube tutorials, just take my very brief advice.

Firstly, when you’re going around the board for the first time, always buy whatever property you land on, no matter how expensive or irrelevant it is to the sets you’d like to collect. You need as many bargaining chips as possible and if you’re too picky, you’ll definitely run out of money. 

Secondly, don’t prioritise the railroads. As fun and as spaced out as they are, they are not worth it in the long run. 

Thirdly, do not cheat and keep artificially inseminating money into the game. A quick game is a good game and the more you take from the bank, the longer the game will continue. 

Fourthly, Boardwalk is overrated.

This GIF is a lie.

Having said this, if you really, really, really hate Monopoly, why not whip out Singstar at your next game night?