5 Things We Did On MSN That Will Haunt Us To Our Graves

MSN, what a pastime! Legit though, turning 13 and my parents FINALLY allowing me to make myself a Hotmail account to talk to my friends online after school is, still to this day, maybe the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Interpret that as you will.

Being on the internet at such a dumb age comes with a few certainties: your screen name is guaranteed to be shit, you’ll make a fool of yourself at some stage and someone’s bound to get catfished.

We wanted to celebrate the beauty that was MSN! And what better way than to ask around the office for everyone’s most cringey moments on the internet’s greatest invention.

Here we go!

The Nerdy Addy

“My first email was [email protected]

Being the bookish nerd I was, I chose a word I would endlessly be explaining the meaning of to nonplussed friends (a humdinger is ‘a unique or extraordinary person or thing, distinct from all others of the same kind’). ‘the_humdinger’ was taken, the irony of which escaped me at the time.” – Mitch

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The Hopeless Romantic

“I was in Year 6 and was talking to this girl I liked on MSN after school. Anyway, one thing led to another, we started sending some flirty emoticons and I managed to conjure up the courage to tell her I ‘like like’ her. I remember visibly shaking I was so nervous.

She said yes, and we agreed to meet each other at the sports shed before school and walk to the classroom together the next day. The sun rose that very next day and I made my way to school heaps excited to see the love of my life, but she was nowhere to be seen. I had been stood up!

I’d like to say I confronted her in class, but I wrote her a note on a piece of paper, asking why she didn’t come and she was just super confused.

Long story short, it was her sister on her account the entire time. So I guess 10-year-old me got catfished, and TBH I’m still salty about it.” – Brad

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The Kitty Gurl

“My first email was [email protected] I had to add the 23 because of course the other email was already taken. I chose it because I obviously love kitties. Simple as that. And yes, this email eventually translated to ‘I love pussies’ among my classmates.” –Tara

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The Lyrical Genius

“I probably did a bunch of embarrassing things on MSN, but most notably every time the guy I liked ignored me or took too long to reply, I’d change my name or what I was listening to, to highlight the exact mood I was in. If he hadn’t replied to a text, you could bet yo ass I’d sign in and out to MSN with a name that had lyrics like, ‘Ask anyone, don’t trust anyone’ (thanks End of Fashion for that gem). Also, I was (and still am tbh) a huge emo kid, so I’d have lyrics like, ‘The amount of pills I’m taking counteracts the booze I’m drinking!’ (shoutout to My Chemical Romance) and 13-year-old non-drinking me would be like, ‘um RELATABLE lyrics!’.” – Tahlia

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Cosima De Vito’s Cousin

“When I first hopped on MSN — probably around age 12 — I remember being befriended by someone called Vanessa. At least, I think her name was Vanessa, IDK  it was a long fucking time ago.

I don’t remember how she even contacted me TBH, but she endeared herself to me because she claimed to be Cosima De Vito’s cousin — as in, the woman who placed third in the first season of Australian Idol. You might remember Cosima as the person who tearfully had to pull out due to having throat nodules — truly a dark time in Aus Idol history.

Anyway, the fact this person claimed to be Cosima’s cousin seemed completely legit to my 12-year-old brain. That it might be some random old guy who had Googled “people that look like Cosima De Vito” and set up an account never occurred to me.

I just thought I’d made a cool new friend who was telling me what it was like to go to the ARIAs. I wonder what Vanessa is doing now. Also, Cosima, if you’re reading this — do you have a cousin called Vanessa?” – Jules

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Honestly, when it comes to MSN, nobody’s safe. Let’s pour one out for our old pal, RIP in peace.