Australians With These Names Are Most Likely To Fall Pregnant In 2016 According To ‘Research’
If you were born in Australia in 1986 and have a really common name, chances are you’re going to fall pregnant in 2016. That’s according to a study by Closeronline.co.uk, the same people who previously brought us cutting-edge research like ‘top ten names of women who will make the best wives.’
The same mob recently published a UK report that’s been doing the rounds here, that claimed to reveal the names of people most likely to fall pregnant in 2016. They found their answers by simply calculating the median age for first time mothers in the UK (which was between 28-29) and matched that with the most popular girls names between 1986 and 1987. Therefore the more popular the name, the more likely the’ll be getting knocked up.
The post has been going viral, however, people in Australia are using this list of UK names as the basis for chirping up to all their moites on social media, saying ‘OMG I’m gunna be a Mum- cuz research n’shit’.
Not only do the grounds of this study sound like they were dreamed up by a group of 12-year-olds at a sleep over party, they just simply don’t apply here.
Because it’s our job to
be investigative journalists waste time and look busy, we applied the same methodology to local data to create our own pioneering forecast of the future. We secretly just wanted to know if we’d make the cut based on the cold hard facts.
We used 2015 ABS data and the 2010 AIHW report to confirm that the median age women fall pregnant in Australia is about 30 years old. Unfortunately Victoria is the only state to have a detailed online record of the most popular names within each year, so we’ve used that to generate the following list which, despite potential order shuffling, should be pretty bang on between the other states. We then just copy-pasted the most popular girls’ names from 1887 below. Yay science! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
To see the answers from the UK list, head over’ere.